Bonjour Paris

I went to see one of my all time favourite movies this week at the Edmonton Film Society Summer series of Noteworthy Musicals. I remember watching it years ago and liking it but I couldn't remember much about it. I was so excited to see it again to remind me why I loved it so much. The movie was Funny Face with Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn from 1956 -Fashion world meets philosophy... I truly loved it... I found myself being caught up in the images and the dreamy courtship that was a surprise to both of them. I want to try and find a copy for myself to add to my collection of favourites. It made me miss Paris though. Since Paris is the fashion capital, part of the movie took place there. It was fabulous!

It made me jealous of my friends, Danny and Hailey who will be returning to Europe in a few weeks to travel for 4 weeks - Grrrrr...

The scene is Fred Astaire, a well known fashion photographer, the Magazine editor and Audrey Hepburn, the magazine's cover girl have just arrived in Paris are saying to each other they are tired and want to go to their hotels to get some rest as though being in Paris is no big deal to them. However, they are privately excited to see the sites of this great city and start to take in the tourist attractions. Being a musical there is a great little Gershwin song that they sing in part until they bump into each other on the streets of Paris and go up the Eiffel Tower together. I wish I knew the lyrics to this song before I went to Paris - I would have sang them in the streets as I strolled along... But the Eiffel tower... there is just something about it.

I wish I took better pictures of it. There is a romance about that city... And even the elevator up - maybe it was the altitude or my lack of sleep but I found myself falling in love with the city... dreaming of a day in the life of a regular Parisian... That's for me: Bonjour Paris!

"Bonjour, Paris!"

I want to step out Down the Champs-Élysées,
From the Arch of Triumph To the Petit Palais.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

I want to wander Through
the Saint Honorais,
Do some window shopping
In the Rue de la Paye.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

I want to see the den of thinking men like Jean-Paul Sartre.
I must philosophise with all the guys around Montmartre and Montparnasse.

I'm strictly a tourist
But I couldn't care less.
When they parlez-vous me
Then I gotta confess.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

Light up the Louvre museum
Jazz up the Latin quarter
To show the richest and the poorest:
Here it comes, The great American tourist!

This has got to be illegal
What I feel
Trés gay, trés chic,
Trés mag-nifique
C'est moi, c'est vous
C'est grand, c'est too tu.
It's too good to be true,
All the things we can do.
You do things to my point of view.

We can show you the north or
We can show you the south then
We can show you the west
Come on and show me the best!
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

Bonjour. Bonjour!
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!
PEOPLE.Bonjour!

Living is easy,
The livin' is high.
All good Americans
Should come here to die.
Bonjour!

Is it real? Am I here?
Am I here? Is it real?

There's something missing
There's something missing, I know.
There's something missing
There's something missing, I know:
There's still one place I've got to go!

Oh! Oh no!

I thought that you were tired.
You said that you were tired.
I heard you say that you...
You told me you were tired!
You said that you were so exhausted!
You said you needed sleep!
You told that you had to rest.
You said you ought to rest.
I thought you wanted rest.
Is this what you call rest?
I haven't time to rest!

This fussing and fretting
It's getting my goat.
Let's all let our hair down,
We're in the same boat!

We're strictly tourists,
You can titter and jeer.
All we want to say is La faiette we are here
On a spree,
Bonjour, Paris...! Bonjour!

Oh reading it doesn't do it justice... you just have to see it....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsMipvkpMMs

I want to go back and spend more time there...

and everywhere...

PGA (Parents Golfing Assistance)

Both of my parents have decided to take up golf in the past 5 years. They play for fun mostly but they have a little edge to them when they play. They say they want to just enjoy the walk through the fairways and the birds chirping in trees along the greens but I noticed a little edge the last time we were out on a local course. My mom missed a shot and it went into some bushes where she proceeded to stomp through to find her favourite Callaway ball (EVERYTHING she uses is Callaway - I would swear she was sponsored by them!). My dad was about 50 feet ahead and kept playing to the hole and I could see both of their frustrations mounting. So much for fun! Eventually, I went over to help her find her ball and she finished the shot but my dad was already to tee off at the next box. My mom and I came along and all of a sudden things changed from a leisurely game to a race through the course. It felt like "speed golf!" Mostly because my dad could see another group of golfers 2 hole back coming up from behind us. He doesn't like to be rushed so he wanted to hurry up the game - ironic hey?
My mom has a funny way of thinking about golf - so simple - she says "I just want to get the ball in the hole, technique doesn't matter just sink the ball!" I laugh because she has so much fun talking about her game more than playing it. No topic is taboo to her - from the philosophy of the game to the outfit she bought for the certain course dress codes. She is a chatty golfer, and she brings snacks for everyone! It is a hoot - no shortage of stories! At least she has a good time!

On this occasion they had to wait to tee off and they are chatting away - sort of distracting but I wasn't about to make a fuss, it was fine. I also enjoy watching my dad, he appears to have the Mike Weir style figured out and can drive a long ball but he can get a little too enthusiastic in his short game. I overshot my ball on the green so I called my dad over to help me retrieve my ball from a gopher hole - I could see it but I wasn't about to reach my hand in it just in case it was bitten off! I tried jamming my club in it but that just pushed it further - finally my dad grabbed it out and gave me a drop on the edge of the cabbage.... at least 60 feet to the hole - one shot - clunk! I was so proud of my fluke! Don't ask me to do it again!

Another thing about golfing with my parents is that even when I make a bad shot they are so encouraging - "Good shot" or "Nice hit" or the classic "Wow good job!" What else can they say they are my parents! I was so annoyed at one point because I lost my ball in the trees so I hit another and it went to the same area my mom say "good job Erin, Golf is a game of consistency and you are very consistent" I could have thrown a club at her! In golf there is such a thing as too much encouragement! Either way, we had some good laughs.

My mom loves the short game - I think it is the mini-golf from her childhood coming out. She has the skills once its on the green! I am always watching her judge the slope and the weight of the shot to sink her ball - "remember Erin, just get the ball in the hole." It was a fun event - I am sure we will play many more games again.

Birthdays and Belly Dancers

I recently celebrated my birthday - well not really. You see I don't really like my birthday - not because I am getting older but because I am uncomfortable with so much attention on me for something I can't control. It takes no skill or talent to have a birthday - I wish I was celebrated when I accomplish something, like a great meal or a home renovation project - not a birthday. I know it is great to celebrate life but that can be done any day - not just the day of my birth. The Monday after my birthday I gave my 2 weeks notice and quit my job. Within my two week resignation period it was the company president's birthday. The staff team was trying to think of something to get him for the big day. Somehow it was decided he should have a strip-o-gram. Ha ha right? Someone must have said something so it was decided that might not be completely appropriate in the work environment so one of the girls in the office decided to take it upon herself to find a Marilyn Monroe look-a-like to sing in her breathy voice "happy birthday Mr.President" but after a week long attempt on company time - she came up with nothing. They tried to find something comparable and someone suggested a belly dancer... Not sure what they were going for there but somehow they felt a girl in a sequence outfit wiggling her belly screams "happy birthday". So it was booked... They asked everyone in the office to contribute $20 to pay for his entertainment...

But first a little company history....
As an employee we did not get Christmas bonuses, or raises because of the contractual positions we hold. We also do not get staff birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, or even cards from the boss because he does not see value in that extra expense. He also does not celebrate Administrative Professional day in our office and I felt like I had to plead my case to the judge every time I submitted an expense claim for my position. In a nut shell - we gave more to the company than we ever would get back. I felt I was making a difference in the lives of my clients so I stayed but eventually I had to leave.

Ok, back to the birthday party, I couldn't agree to shell out $20 for a questionable belly dancer to gyrate around my boss. I also started adding up the $20/person - this was not a cheap gift. I thought maybe if I avoided the event planners I wouldn't have to pay since it was my last week. Then it happened, I dropped my guard and was cornered in the lunch room by 2 of them

"So Erin, when were you going to give me your $20?"

Upon some counsel of wise friends they told me to stand my ground and not pay - but in that moment I felt so helpless - I caved. But I proceeded to tell them I would only pay half (my weak attempt at being assertive - I am so spineless in those situations) By their reactions I could sense they were going to be discussing my "attitude" later as they huddle in one of their offices with the door closed and speaking in the "low-talk".

So the day of the big party comes and all of a sudden the music comes on and this red flash of glitz comes wiggling by.... As you can see by the expression on my boss' face he was just as surprised as they rest of us.


I would have to say that he never smiles like this on a normal work day - this was EXTRA SPECIAL for him. And for that my $10 was worth putting a smile on his face.

What surprised me about this young girl is how sexual she was making the dance. I know belly dancing is an art and very cultural and I really appreciate it on those terms but this was a little more on the Strip-o-gram side of things.
She had a scarf that she would wrap around his neck and shimmy herself around him. So strange to watch. I felt like I was spying on a very personal moment even though I knew they had never met until that moment.

I had to laugh because my boss tried really hard to keep his eyes focused upward while she danced. Actually, to be honest - I didn't really know where to look either because of the way she was wiggling and jiggling she was trying to draw your eye to all her "parts".

One of the highlights for me was when she tried to get him up to dance with her. First off - are you kidding me? Secondly, my boss has no moves - no rhythm - no rhyme. It was like some great uncle trying to get funky at a wedding reception. BRUTAL! I have to give him props for trying at least. It was truly hilarious!

Once he did it another lady in the office thought she should give it a go. She is highly sexual in all that she does - in her office attire, speech and attitude so she was more than willing to volunteer. She is the ultimate cougar! Seriously, she was "undulating" all around the boardroom!
There were many photos taken of this event that will be memorable and I know that overall it was a good laugh. I can't help but wonder how I would feel if I found out that an over-sexed 45yr old cougar rented my husband a belly dancer for his birthday without discussing it with me or inviting me to join in the party for that day. I wonder how his wife feels. Moreover, I am curious to know why the entire staff team (made up of 90% women) wanted this highly sexual dance brought into the office environment? I am not commenting on that however, it was one of the weirdest ways I have ever spent $10!

Turtles and Speed Bumps

Can you see it? If you can't that's ok - I didn't! For 2 years I have walked these same sidewalks in the off leash area near my house and I have met some very interesting people. Another dog owner I met kept telling me to watch out for turtles. I always laughed awkwardly wondering what they were talking about. I was pretty sure there were no turtles living in my neighbourhood but they said it without the wink wink nudge nudge which made me wonder if they were a little confused. There are no turtles in my area - it was impossible! Ducks, cats, pigeons, seagulls, rabbits and even a rumoured coyote who has wondered up from the river valley have made this park their home but not turtles. Then it dawned on me.

The turtles were the bumps in the sidewalks caused by the roots systems of the trees. It is actually crazy to see how they have erupted through the asphalt sidewalk to create a mini-hill which are referred to as "turtles".

I have always enjoyed a brisk walk through this area and some days we go for a run. It in almost inevitable for me to trip and stumble on the broken surface of the pavement. Typically I get distracted and don't pay attention to my footing and my toe gets caught on the uneven blacktop. I would love to blame someone else for my embarrassment in these moments but I just laugh at my clumsiness. This could be the great analogy of my life as the turtles are the little speed bumps in my world that cause me to slow down and look at my focus and ask where is it? If it isn't on the road before me - I run the risk of falling. If my attention is not on the route I could either go astray and veer off the pathway or I might not be able to maneuver around a "turtle" which could be a tripping hazard and injure myself which would alter my ability to continue the journey. Ok perhaps that is a bit over the top - but when I am out for a walk by myself - many things run through my head!

My mother tells me I have always been the type of person who likes to stop and smell the roses but in my day to day life I find certain events in life can cause us to be jaded and forget to appreciate the events going on around us with wonder. Summer is full of great moments, from beautiful sunsets and flowers in bloom to the flash of lightening and the fresh smell of summer rain; or a child's giggle in the wading pool and the aroma of the backyard BBQ to washing my car and making it shine and then driving it with great music and the sunroof open to the lake! This is the stuff life life is made of.

For someone who didn't know what a "turtle" was I have developed a great appreciation for these small neighbourhood creatures. They teach me to slow down and pay attention. To see the great things that surround me and enjoy those in my life that make me a better person. I am really so blessed and I guess it sometimes takes falling hard on our a$$ to learn that.

I have a great respect for God's timing in my life. I don't think of myself as impatient but some days I don't understand the word "wait". I have learned so much in the past 3 years with leaving a job I enjoyed to many jobs I did not enjoy to a new job that shows promise and in it all I saw great things. I am thankful for God's Sovereignty in my life and his knowledge of what I need but I just wish he would let me in on the long term plans! There are things going on in my head and in my heart that are new and I need some insight on why these issues have surfaced. What does God have in store for me - how does he want to use me in the coming year. How can I make use of my gifts to follow through on these hopes and dreams. How does it all fit together. Here I am again - asking and not listening. I need to walk slower, pay attention and maybe I will start to see how it all fits together. Just one step at a time - Right?

Things aren't always as they appear.

My dog, Paris and I walk every day in the off-leash park by my house. In the winter there is a business that must have some sort of Nativity scene they place in their office area annually because they always have bails of hay tossed into the back area of their warehouse. There is an older man who sits on them like a park bench with his little dog on the sunny winter white days. Now that it is summer, I noticed they are still there and it quite good form as compared to past years. Previously, I notice they become weathered and tattered with soggy and rotting hay but this year they look very different. They seemed to hold their form quite well for a square bail with sharp edges and a tight geometric shape.

Normally, I don't let my dog go over to that area behind the businesses because I am still trying to train her to "heel" as we walk but on this one occasion I allowed her to wander off to sniff in the tall grass. She stood beside the 4 well manicured hay bails and I started to walk over to where she was to get a closer look.

As I got closer I noticed one of them has some shadows on it that made me want to investigate what was in these bails. Was is metal wire instead of twine to keep them together? But then Paris went to the last bail in the row and I could hear her lapping up water. A puddle had formed in the centre of one of the bails. And upon closer inspection it wasn't a bail at all...
To my surprise it was 4 boxes that some crafty prop designer built to look like a bail of hay when really it was 4 boxes with hay pieces glued all over the sides to make it look like a real bail. Over the rainy spring conditions a few of the boxes had a concave top that allowed water to pool in it which worked as a little drink for my thirsty dog.

From a distance I couldn't tell but as I got closer I could see the shadows weren't wire it was printing on the boxes that was exposed for all to see. It all made sense now.

They covered only 4 of the 6 sides to make it look like a bail of hay - and they had me fooled for the past few months! I just assumed it was some co-worker's efforts to WOW their boss with an impressive Christmas backdrop for their shop and I was right but rather than driving out to see Uncle Randy on the farm for a few bails of hay they opted to make their own. Well done! I was impressed!Ha ha on me... So who is going to clean them up now... as they sit rotting in the park. Nasty.

HIV/AIDS ~ Where do I begin?

Last summer I went to hear an African Children's Choir on tour here in Edmonton sing at a local church. It was so heart warming to see their smiling faces and listen to them sing at the top of their lungs. They had more energy and enthusiasm than any choir or singing team that I have ever seen, as well as a heart to share love with the audience. Some of the kids told their stories, including a girl who shared how her mother was killed in an attack on her village and she was hiding under a matt. Another boy talked about both of his parents dying of HIV/AIDS and being orphaned by the rest of his family. . I was so moved by their stories I couldn't help but fall in love with their little faces! They sang with an inner joy and peace about the opportunity they were being given. Some of them talked about this being their second chance at life to make an impact. I was so impressed with the way they conducted themselves but I did notice there were a few of them wearing a medical bracelet. It got me thinking about the ones who talked about having parents who died of HIV/AIDS seemed to be the ones who were wearing the bracelets. I wondered if these sweet little kids also were infected. At the end of the evening they asked if there were people who might be interested in the future to join their team as teachers, leaders and other chaperons on future trips around the world. I took an application. Haven't done anything about it yet - but I am thinking about it. What an experience it could be.

~~~~~~

December 1st is World HIV/AIDS day and this past year I was able to be a part of an event that raised awareness of the disease. We hosted an evening at city hall with food and shared information about the seriousness of the spread of the disease in Africa. We briefly talked about how HIV/AIDS impacts us here in Canada but our focus was on developing nations. The money collected from this event went to support our team trip to Africa where we were able to experience a real hands on learning of how the HIV/AIDS education is getting into the lives of young people in these countries. I was so proud to be able to stand with my Canadian team and attempt to be proactive and educate the high school students we were talking with about the disease. I was encouraged to hear the amount of information they already knew about the spread of the disease and the importance of being safe.

~~~~~~

Just before winter I met a lady named Andrea. She lives in Edmonton and just by looking at her you can tell she has had a rough life. She is pretty happy-go-lucky but some days she looks like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She shared with me privately this year that she has been living with HIV and is on a daily cocktail of multiple pills to keep her immune system functioning enough for today. She came up to me last week after not seeing me in over 2 months and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so happy to see her because I don't know if I will see her again. I get so angry when I think of this disease and how it is completely preventable! I know a cure can happen but in the in-between time it breaks my heart to hear of how many people still become infected when there is so much education and information out there for them to protect themselves.

~~~~~~

So do I pat myself on the back and say I've done my part

or do I get louder and say what can you do about it?

No Opennings in June

June is always the busiest month for me. It feels like everything comes to head just before the start of summer and then things start to slow down. I know this isn't a new thing - most people feel this way but I am trying to figure out why it seems to happen to me. If I look at people who really feel this influx of scheduling and bookings they are usually people who have children or are students themselves. I also have some friends who are teachers and they have to get all their work done before summer as well. But I am none of the above! You would think I would be feeling great and enjoying the spring-like temperatures but instead I am on the go every night, all weekend long and there seems to be no end in sight. Perhaps it has to do with the weather as well, for the most part we are indoors for the winter and when the first sign of good weather comes everyone wants to get out and do stuff. I don't want to sound like I am complaining because I am not - in fact - I like being busy! However, when other things are left or dropped entirely that starts to irritate me. I have a long list of things that need doing but they might have to wait until July. I guess I get to spend the first part of July doing housework, laundry, landscaping, and the many other untouched concerns that are being back-burner-ed until a later time. Oh well - I guess that just means I get to enjoy this month as a social butterfly and next month I will be grounded as a home body... And maybe work on my tan!

A Life of Blessing

I had the honor of being invited to attend the Commencement and Graduation banquet of the Jasper Place High school class of 2007 this past week. On Tuesday evening I went to the Jubilee Auditorium to see many of the kids from the youth group walk across the stage and graduate proudly. I especially was beaming when I saw my Africa Travel Buddy get up and give the valedictorian speech to her peers, teachers and family. Watching her mature over the years made it an exciting experience for me to work with her in Africa. She was pushed outside her comfort zone and challenged but it grew her as well. She spent the whole day at the orphanage holding this very sick little baby who had a high temperature because of the malaria.

She was inspiring and eloquent in what she said and her challenge to her fellow graduates was practical and heartfelt. I looked around as she was speaking and everyone was focused on what she had to say - it was like you could hear a pin drop in the room - all the attention was on her! She did a great job!

Thursday came and it was a mad rush to get home from work and get ready to go to the graduation banquet. I had already decided on what I was going to wear so it was just a matter of putting it all together in 30 minutes! Voila - out the door without lip gloss - I thought I could finish in the car. When I arrived it was impressive to see the guys in their suits and the girls decked out in some of the most beautiful gowns I have ever seen! It looked like a red carpet celebrity gathering... so classy! Once inside we had a lovely meal and a very lengthy program. They had all the grads line up and do the grand march through the room to the dance floor where they started the dance. I stayed for short time but I had to get going home. Robbie J, another non-grad attendee, parked a few blocks away and offered to escort me through the sketchy downtown streets to my car which I greatly appreciated and I drove him and Chet to where Robbie had parked. On my way home I was remembering my grad and what a strange night it was for me. I wish I could go back and do it all over again with less drama!

As I looked around the empty streets I saw an orange glow low in the sky and it was the moon. It was full and bright - like a giant navel orange floating in the midst of a dark blue sky. I find there are few sights as engaging as the sky - throughout the year... always changing and always beautiful.

I guess it's moments like this when I am reminded that there is something bigger than myself working in the universe to show me that there is so much more available to me if I only can grab onto it. I have been so blessed in my life and I can only imagine what is to come in the future!

YC tradition lives on.

Have you ever seen that cartoon image of a snow ball that starts to roll down a hill and as it goes down it starts to get bigger and bigger? I don't know how it happens but it seems like that is a great metaphor for my life. I have found that I get myself into situations where I can't stop the momentum of that decision and all of a sudden I am busy with all kinds of new things.

I previously commented on my disappointment of not attending YC. The following day I spoke with my friend Danny Taylor and sure enough... they had a few extra tickets. I was able to attend in spite of not being an official leader which was surprisingly weird for me.

I enjoyed the event as a whole although I find I can be highly critical of certain parts. I get annoyed at the emotional manipulation and spiritual influence these sort of events bring. All that said - United (from Australia), Toby Mac, Skillet, Andy Hunter, Rebecca St. James and many other bands and a few speakers made it a very enjoyable weekend! In the middle of the weekend I had previously booked a hair appointment I couldn't re-book. I tried a new hair stylist and I thought she did an alright job - So Saturday I came late to YC with a few Starbucks beverages for the those I could get a hold of. Later on Sunday I saw a few students walking to the convenient store to get some drinks, they offered to bring me an energy drink and I said sure thinking they might pick up a Jolt Soda or a high vitamins green tea. When they returned they handed me a can of Red Bull. I have never had it before so this was my first experience with the highly caffeinated soda. It tasted like those Fizz candies without the foaming experience that come in a strip of individually wrapped nuggets. It did the trick to get me through to the evening. Finally, at the end of the weekend we were back having supper and I was talking with a few of the grade 12 students and they were saying it was an end of an era... this was sort of a sentimental moment for me since I have been involved throughout their youth experience.
The sentiment only grows through the week. It has been a week of nostalgia for me...

Holiday Monday and so on.

To bring you up to speed, the puncture holes in my foot still hurt but it seems to be healing. My mom made a joke about knowing how Jesus felt being nailed to the cross - but I think the nails they used were a little thicker - more like a stake! So, I am pretty much nothing like Jesus with two little 4 inch fencing nails. With some help from my dad, I finally was able to do some yard work. My lawn looks great thanks to my dad's skills at getting the lawn mower working and assisting me while I was a little gimped up. My friendly neighbour was digging up a bunch of her perennials and I replanted some of them into my yard. I have her raspberry canes, strawberry plants, irises, lilies and some other random plants we aren't sure what they are.

These are the Irises that I planted,

Here are the raspberries and one of the 8 strawberry plants in the sunshine!

I am excited to see how they will grow in my yard. I have this one bush that looks amazing right now - it's all flowering in these beautiful pink rose blossoms. It almost looks like a cherry tree but it doesn't produce any sort of fruit. The tight buds are amazing but they are almost all in full bloom now so it is entirely pink! Check it out.

After I came in from gardening, I remembered I forgot to put my Callingwood Farmer's Market purchase from Sunday in the fridge. I had bought a jar of homemade Kimchi from a lovely Korean family. The only problem is that when I looked in my purse it had opened and the juice had spilled everywhere! Thankfully it was still in a plastic bag but a little bit leaked out into the rest of my Oscar de la Renta hand bag! Now I have to throw it out because it stinks like kimchi! Gross!

As for some other exciting news, I am in the midst of planning a trip to Drumheller with some friends. I am not a dinosaur expert but I like the hoodoos and the trails down there so maybe we will be able to plan some good hikes! Everything is just in the planning stages yet.

So that is my long weekend and it's already Wednesday! Tomorrow is Mini-Friday and then the weekend! Wooo Hooo! I have to be honest this is the first year I have not attended YC and I am a little sad. I might have to explain that a little more - even so I can process it because it is a bit of a sore spot with me right now. Maybe another time.

Well that is all I have to say about that.

Can I mow my lawn before the weekend is over?

This has been a strange long weekend for me. Usually, on May long weekend, I have a lot planned, people to see, things to do and last minute extras to accommodate for. The past few days have been full of random events that bring me to learn a new life lesson.
Friday was a fun night out with one of the girls from the Africa team, we sat at Starbucks visiting until the Starbucks barista came to our little corner to tell us they were closing in 7 minutes. I love that feeling where you can't believe how long you have been visiting and the conversation was full of fun memories and new events. I felt that it made for a good evening out after another hour of visiting in the car before she went home.
Saturday morning rolled around with my crazed dog jumping up on my bed to wake me up before 7:00am. As much as I like getting up early - this was a bit ridiculous!

It was a miserable day with overcast skies and cold temperatures. My brother phoned at 7:45am to see if I had changed my mind about coming with them to see my parents out at the lake. It was confirmed - I do not want to go to the lake! Too cold! Instead, I plopped myself down in front of the TV and started flipping channels in hopes that there would be a good old movie on Turner Classic Movies but I got caught on another old/new classic - School of Rock with Jack Black.

Why I like this show, I do not know, but I find myself laughing at his stupidity and enjoying his change of heart to see these kids do well. I also really enjoy the roommate and his girlfriend. They are both so annoying - she does a good job at that role and he is such a dweeb! And Joan Cusak is so funny as the principal! After the movie was over it, I started to read - but somehow fell asleep. It was a good book but I think the morning came too fast after my Starbucks hang over. It was a great little nap but I realized it was the afternoon and I had done NOTHING! So the guilt started to creep in... I decided I needed to mow my lawn but the mower was stashed in my shed in the most awkward position (My dad put it in there last fall - No idea how he got it in there!) I tried to lift it out but it just wouldn't come. After tipping it up and turning it and just plain old ramming it out, I finally got it out just to realize - it wasn't working. I started to panic, did I wreck it by tipping the engine up on it's side? After all that effort, I couldn't do anything! So back in the house! I made a marinade for some steaks and went for a nice long walk with Paris. We BBQ-ed the steaks later that night but accomplished almost nothing with hope that Sunday would bring about better results!
This morning (Sunday) looked promising - the sun was out shining and maybe the mower might work today. I made a list of all the things I wanted to do including some laundry and vacuuming along with the yard work of yesterday. Things started out great, kitchen was cleaned, pulled some of the weeds, my neighbour asked if I wanted any of her perennials for my yard and then my friend Danielle came over. Danielle is my "Mover and Shaker" - if she wants it done - she does it! One day she decided to buy a house - then she wanted to renovate it - not just one room but all of them - within one month she had re-painted her dining room 3 times! Then she bought another house - and sold her other house - then she renovated her new kitchen! She is very motivating to be around! She wanted to go to the farmers market today - so we went! I loved it! She is so spontaneous! But just before we were about to leave we were snooping around the yard next door and I stepped on an old fence board that was turned upside down with two nails pointing up! It was weird - like slow motion - I could feel the rusty nails skewering through my foot. I stood there for a second and said "I think I stepped on a nail" lifted my foot and sure enough - Blood! My left lime green garden Crocs were full of blood! I hobbled over to the house to look at it closer and sure enough it was a deep one!

I cleaned the puncture holes and put a band aide on it. At first it felt tender but nothing serious but after a couple hours it really hurts. My toes are stiff like as if they had lactic acid build up in them from a work out. So far I don't have lock jaw because thankfully I had my tetanus shot before going to Africa!

It's weird because right after it happened we still went to the farmers market and it hurt but I was able to hobble around. Now that I am home and my shoes are off - the pain is increased and I can barely put pressure on it.

Well, I might have to phone Capital Health link Hotline to talk to a professional to see if there is anything else I can do to prevent infection or anything more serious! Stupid fence boards!
I can't wait for tomorrow - Victoria day! Holiday Monday! What could be in store for me then! Will I ever get my lawn mowed? It is like a jungle! Soon I will need a swather to get through!
I have learned that when I don't stick to my plans strange things happen and simple things like mowing my lawn don't seem to ever happen. I get so easily distracted by more appealing things... When will I learn to stay focused? Well, maybe now I have learned!

The Best Medicine

I joined the Edmonton Film Society this spring to review old "silver screen" movies (1943-1963)from an era before digital special effects and gratuitous scenes that plague every blockbuster movie of today. Every Monday evening they show a film at the museum from their Comedy Gold series and I couldn't be happier! I invited some friends to join me to experience this with me and we are probably the youngest people in the theatre. Each week I find myself chuckling along with a room full of maturity. To be completely honest, many times I am not laughing at the quick wit in the line delivery of the actor but in the roar that is soon to follow from the audience. The laughter that fills the room is so refreshing! I can hear a sense of maturity and appreciation of a simpler time when the older man behind me bust out laughing at a ridiculous line or the elderly lady in the middle giggles at the on screen humor.


This past week was especially enjoyable as the opening scene of The Thrill Of it All (1963) starring Doris Day and James Gardner shows a woman (Arlene Francis who plays a supporting character, Mrs. Fraleigh) snickering to herself, trying to keep her composure on her way to tell her husband some good news. One of my favorite parts was as she entered the elevator in her husband's office building filled with serious business men in suits on their way in to work. She starts to snicker and they try to ignore her foolishness, she then looks a man square in the eye and begins to laugh out loud. He awkwardly smiles and lets a little laugh out to ease the uncomfortable moment in front of all the other business executives. She then turns to another and another and just starts to laugh hysterically, meanwhile the men in the elevator are joining in the laughter along with her for no obvious reason. It's such a great scene where this explosive laughter become contagious to the viewing audience. I found myself laughing and listening to those sitting around me start to join in this contagious laughter. It was a random and unanimous outburst of laughter for everyone.

I love humor and laughing and enjoying life but in a world of anger, cynicism and pain it is hard to come by these days. I remember when I was a young girl sitting with my friends laughing hysterically until we cried about silly things. As I got older and into my teens we would have sleep overs with my friends and in the middle of the night we would be shushing each other so we didn't get yelled at by our parents for being so loud.

I love that deep belly laugh, the one where your eyes start to water and your breathing changess because the laughing is coming from your diaphragm. It is such a great feeling when you laugh in such a liberal way, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because in that moment nothing else is as important as that funny moment in time. I remember saying "stop, stop, my stomach/face hurts" and holding my cheeks from the muscle strain while I wipe the tears from my eyes. Man, those are some good times.

They seem less and less as I have grown up but I cherish them just the same. I wonder if I could start a riot of laughter where people spontaneously start to laugh along with you just because laughter is so contagious! Hmmm... Maybe, I could start a revolution of joy. Ha ha!

Through My Eyes

During my trip to Africa I was able to keep a travel journal and jotted down thoughts, experiences and even prayers for what I hoped to accomplish while I was there. This became quite lengthy as our pace was very fast and so much was happening in a short amount of time. Everything was new and there was a steady change in my surroundings as I was being bombarded with new emotions and images, I needed to process them some how. Now I sit flipping through the pages and pages of scribble wondering who will ever read these accounts, then I thought I should compile it on the computer. No sorry it won't show up on MySpace or any blogging site because some of it is quite personal but I think it might be worth sharing with my team mates at some point. I could share it with my other friends but it just doesn't mean as much to them like it does with someone who has experienced it. Some of the team have already asked to read parts of what I wrote and another guy on the team says he will be compiling his journal entries into a book for for the rest of us. I wonder how different or similar our accounts of the same events will be. I started typing tonight and I am on page 9 but I am only at the part where we landed on African soil in Libya. And the funny part is I am not editing much information out, even the stuff I wrote for my own sake; it is pretty authentic to what I was experiencing - pretty much - uncut - the raw emotions and generally uncensored. It makes me nervous to share but I think it has value to re-live those experiences though the eyes of another and remembering how that moment impacted each of us. If you are interested in reading the completed version - talk to me. I will ensure you can experience Project Niger through my eyes.

Politically Correct Ice Cream

Growing up I lived in a very health conscious home and my parents made me order milk or orange juice during the one time visit we took to McDonalds when everyone else was drinking root beer, I was taught a very strong message about eating balanced meals. You may need to know a little something about me in order for you to truly understand my issue here - my one eternal weakness is ice cream! I can't eat lots of it but I can't help but have some of it. Somewhere along the line I thought that ice cream with fruit in it, like strawberry or blueberry or even mango was better for you even though there usually isn't much fruit if any. As I became an adult I started to branch out on my own and enjoy the rich dark forbidden flavors of chocolate and I started to indulge in a variety of chocolate ice cream treats over the healthier fruit selections - it was a family scandal! As I wandered away from the teachings of my youth I began to see the many options ice cream lovers had to choose from. Nuts, caramel, mint, licorice, bubble gum, cotton candy, rainbow, cookie dough and many combinations that would almost be sinful to consider.
Over the years I have also noticed from my peers that they become loyal to a flavor - they either align with the chocolate genre or with the fruit flavors. There have been many industrious campaigns to win people over by adding nuts to the chocolate or larger pieces of fruit or even creating designer names for the flavors but one thing stays the same - fruit or chocolate.
I have since matured and realized that my love of fruity ice cream will always be a part of me but I don't ever want to smother my secret passion for chocolate so thus I have a found the most politically correct ice cream to satisfy both camps. I am exposing a secret to my happiness in life; this is how I blend both of my flavor spectrums. I have found a flavor that allows me to sit on the fence, to be neutral, to live like I am Switzerland - I can eat ice cream like an impartial voter. I am eating Chocolate Covered Cherries and I am proud of it!
I had a small DQ Blizzard tonight (my first one of the year) and I always find them so big but I just savored every spoonful - some with fruit - some with chocolate chunks.... It was divine... I don't ever remember a Sunday evening so sweet.

Being Home Blues

So it has been over a week since I returned from my humanitarian aid trip to West Africa. I have worked on other projects with those in poverty both within my own country and in South America but for some reason I can't seem to transition back to my Canadian life so easily. I know part of it stems from my personal frustration with my present employment situation. It seemed so much easier when I didn't have to deal with the day-to-day drama I have at my job and now after the trip my frustrations seem so much more amplified. Perhaps there are more layers to my discontented heart. I feel like there was a mysterious connection that happened in my soul while overseas that just can't be re-created here. I felt different - perhaps it was the change of pace or the steady stream of new images that were bombarding me or maybe it was just the feeling of belonging to something with a purpose.
I am well aware of the reverse culture shock people experience after being exposed to such diversity and new opportunities but I can tell you that it's not just that... I think it's more. Maybe it's the loss of the community we had, the feeling of abandonment or just not having the same chemistry with those around me now. Or maybe it is just my innermost passion and desire to travel and see the world but I have always been comfortable with my travel dreams. There were times when I was in Paris when I would glance around me and whisper up prayers that these feelings would never end but blossom into more/new opportunity to see more of our planet. Since I have returned home all I can think about it where to go next? I have been dreaming about Asia and what that might hold for me. Some might say I am running away from my problems and not willing to face the hard questions of life but I say I am running towards the greatest classroom of all to help me discover more of what I want from life.
Is it a quarter life crisis… am I searching for the freedom of a grade 12 ready to take on the world or is there something I need to pay attention to deep with in my soul? I can tell you that over the next few weeks something has to change, I am trying to be patient but I don't know if I can really thrive when I feel like I can barely survive. I just keep asking myself – is this as good as it gets? There has got to be more… God has designed me for more and I can't shake the feeling that I need to figure out what that is or I will shrivel up and never fully embrace the life He has planned for me. I guess I will have to spend some intentional time figuring out what come next for me.

My Own Company

Yesterday was Good Friday and I was sitting at home after a full week of grounding to ensure my health had started to return. Upon self diagnosis I was feeling well enough to go out but not willing to put in a lot of effort to find a social gathering to attend so I decided to go out with one of my favorite people - ME! I packed up my travel journal and headed over to one of my favorite Starbucks to reflect on the last few days of my African experience that I have since neglected to complete since arriving home.
As I sipped on my tall vanilla decaf Americano with room I would look up from my pages to glance around the cafe. I started to notice the last 2 women were putting on their jackets to leave and the rest of the room was filled with single men in their late 30's. Every time I would look up to take a drink my eyes would meet with one or two of the 8 guys angled in my sightlines. Some were so bold as to hold my glance to smile at me. I very quickly started to feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable. It was like the walls were closing in on me, the door seemed further away and I would have to respond to some awkward comment. I normally would have appreciated the neighborly grin or the welcoming smile but this was different... I felt like prey waiting to be pounced on. At this point I did what any insecure girl disinterested in confrontation did - I dug out my cell phone and occupied my attention by punching a bunch of buttons and trying to look as if I would be expecting something better, to give the illusion of more than just me. This held them off for a short time but they continued to close in on me not just with their eyes and their smiles but one brave soldier walked over to the shelf near my table to glance at what I was working on. I looked directly at him as he was peering over my shoulder and looked away after an embarrassed "hello". He went back to his 3-seated table in the left corner to update his mates of what he was sent to scout out. I could barely stand it any longer, I finished off the final thoughts in my journal, tossed my cup and headed out as if I was late for something very important. I started to scurry faster when I noticed another gentleman in particular standing from his chair and starting to come towards me - this was my cue to head for the hills.
I guess spending a Friday night on a long weekend out at a coffee shop alone does project a certain message but when did it become open season for those that sit alone. Isn't there an unwritten rule about those journaling or studying or occupied by choice?
I enjoy spending time at cafes where I can be with my thoughts - I have come up with some of my greatest revelations in a Tim Horton's, Second cup and Starbucks near you! I have drafted up many business profiles and entrepreneurial ideas to develop as well as life altering concepts to my decision-making and leadership. Where can I go to find solace with my own company both professionally and personally? What can I do to take back the carefree cappuccino dates and the latte laughter with myself? Do I always need an escort to keep predators at bay?
Perhaps I am being a bit over dramatic but this was an odd evening. I know I have seen some cute boys in the past sitting in my sightline and wished they would come talk to me but Mr. Right was not among this crowd!

In the middle of the night I begin to question...

For almost a whole month I have not been able to sleep through the entire night. At first I thought it was because I was in the African heat and my body was still dealing with the jet-lag but during my 2 week stay in West Africa I didn't have a full night's rest. Since my return to Canada an internal alarm has been going off and I have only assumed it is the return jet lag again but I am noticing a pattern. These have been my observations although not entirely scientific.
1. It usually happens between 4-5am local time irrelevant of my location - In Africa it was 4-5am and now in Canada my eyes open at 4-5 am.
2. My mind begins to race about similar items - life, friends, love, and purpose - not in that order... I am not overly stressed by any one of them but certain issues float to the front of my mind and I start to work overtime.
3. I have noticed it keeps me alert for approximately 30-60 minutes depending on how quickly I can tuck those thoughts back into my sleepy head.
4. I had a well respected friend once tell me he felt God talked to him in dreams - I believed him - God talks to many people through their dreams. Shortly after his divine revelations I remember praying for God to talk to me through my dreams to help me with answers around some major decisions I was making at the time. God wanted to use other communication forms to keep me humble. SO my fourth and final observation at this time is more of a question that maybe God is waking me up between 4-5am to talk. But I just don't know how to start the conversation at that time. OR is it just jet lag?
Last night was particularly strange as I have been at home all week because of illness but last night I went out with friends. Not just any friends but the team I traveled to Africa with - Great group! It was nice to see them again after the trip; we looked at pictures, talked about our experiences and unpacked some of the return depression that has sunken in for some of us. After the evening was over I arrived home, got ready for bed and drifted off into a great sleep - but 4:17am - WIDE AWAKE! And my thoughts started to race in a metaphor – strange I know but I paralleled my experience to an expensive car, hard to explain. This is the metaphor:
My friend has a new Porsche and was cruising around in it last night, we were able to ooo and aww at his new toy which to any of us was impressive. I felt somewhat envious but I am not into porches like he is - but I sure like to watch them and I was happy for him and the joy he had from showing it to us.
I noticed some of our friends were asking to test drive his new Porsche - I cringed as I thought it might not be a smart idea to trust your new toy with just anyone but he agreed with a watchful eye. At one point he turned to me and asked - Do you want to try? My heart skipped and I felt a sense of honor by just being asked however out of my mouth came these words – no, that's ok. No sooner did I say them than I realized how much I wanted to just sit behind the wheel - why did I say no - what would make me say something that wasn't true.... so here I am lying awake contemplating this - Dumb I know...
I started to see things a little clearer both about myself and about my friend. First - my friend was enjoying his Porsche through the eyes of his friends - with every new person who took it out for a spin he was able to share a passion he had with them - enlightening them to the style and sophistication that his little purchase brought. He wanted to share the joy that this car brought to himself with others by letting them experience it personally. For many of us it would be the first time we test-drove anything at this caliber.
Secondly - I realized I am afraid. I had this weird feeling in that moment when he offered me the keys - what if I don't drive it well? I was afraid I couldn't drive stick as well as him and my insecurities about how I am perceived got the best of me and I may have insulted my friend after he was gracious enough to want to share his new joy with me.
Ok so now that my revelation has come into full view, the clock reads 4:38am and now the only thing I can think of is finding a way to apologize. How do I say it – do I say anything at all – does he even remember – am I making a bigger deal out of nothing – it can't be nothing I have spend the last 20+ minutes thinking about it. It's one of those things that if I skim over it, I might be overlooking an opportunity to encourage and repair any damage to our friendship but if I draw attention to something that wasn't a big deal he might think I am just a nut case – which at this point in the middle of the night – is true!
At 4:52am I was able to turn over, close my eyes and feel like I had solved the crisis of the night. I think that no matter what the issue is that seems to awaken me – it's 10 times bigger at that time of night!
My hope is that my sleep each night will be full and complete that any interruptions will be essential and short. I also hope my fears would be diminished through an attitude of confidence and I can enjoy each moment when I am faced with it.