Funny Face, Bonjour, Paris!

I miss Paris...  I want to go back.

Tag? Don't judge me.

So, a few months ago a fellow Blogger put the challenge out to me or in the Internet chain letter format - she tagged me.  I am now required to write  7 random/weird facts about myself or I will have some sort of issue throughout my life - Just kidding - I don't think there is any sort of curse with waiting to expose these personal facts other than taint my image.  I am hoping it will be fun my readers won't think I am a freak! 

I'll be honest this is tricky...  how do I pick which 7 of my quirks do I feel okay with sharing....

1. I am a shoe freak -it's true.  One day I went to Canadian Tire to by a shelf to store all my shoes and they don't fit...  The shelf has 8 shelves and the shoes are doubled up (One on top of the other) on each shelf, some summer sandals and flip flips are piled 3 and 4 pairs high because they are flat.  Each shelf has approximately between 10 and 12 pairs on it.... Do the math.... The top shelf has boots because they are taller and don't fit in the shelf. PLUS, I have 2 boxes with other shoes that didn't make it onto the shelf.  All of this is kept secretly in the basement - that way people can't bug me when I say I need to buy new shoes. 
2. I like to garden.  Yes - it's true!  I like to grow my own vegetables and flowers.  My favorite is when I get to pick them and put them fresh into a salad and serve them to friends...  I love that feeling of "home made".
   
3. I have to have my dishes and glasses stacked a certain way in the cupboard... It's not like I think the world will end if they are stacked differently but it makes me uneasy...  I have had friends over for dinner and after we are all done and doing dishes I will see them put a green bowl on top of an orange bowl...  my blood pressure jumps and I try to ignore it.  Once the coast is clear I re-arrange it a go on living peacefully.
4. Everyday I walk my dog in an off leash park that is bordered by a residential alley.  This is where the garbage pick up is as well.  I am not a garbage picker but I saw a vintage floor lamp, circa 1950's siting in the alley behind someones house so I grabbed it and continued walking with my dog.  I carried it all the way through the park and got it home.  Not only was the light bulb left in it still working the lamp works just fine!    
   
5. So many people including Hailey, (the fellow blogger who has me exposing my weirdness to the world) love the TV show Gilmore Girls.  I don't get it.   I have never been interested in it.  The dialogue is way too over the top - no one actually talks like that - the script writers are clever but it is so rehearsed...  I think I have watched 3 episodes ever.  I can't have those hours back now. I know many people like it but I have never connected with it.
   
6. I always secretly laughed and mocked those people who had "Dog Art".  Especially those velvet pictures of dogs sitting at a card table, wearing people clothes while the dogs drank, smoked and gambled.   Although it probably fit in well in their 1970 inspired "rumpus room" with avocado green shag rug and wood panelling.  I remember looking closely at these dogs and it was a fun picture - kinda kitschy!  But I always thought my art design taste was more contemporary with classic styling.  I am drawn to modern versions of classical design.  Well, last summer I was looking for something to hang in my front room.  Guess what I bought??
7. Sometime after Survivor aired I became drawn into this world of reality television.  I think I have watched almost every reality TV show made!!!  The trashier the better!!!  Everything from Big Brother, the Bachelor, Paradise Hotel, The Apprentice, Average Joe, Beauty and Geeks, America's Next top Model, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire and the list goes on.  I maybe don't watch the whole series but I like to see what they are about.  I don't like to admit it but I always wonder what I would be like on a Reality show.  I would apply for the Apprentice - it is one of my favorites! 

Well, I guess that wasn't so bad.  Now you know some weird little facts about me.

Don't judge me!  

My best time

What a beautiful bride...

I can't explain how truly happy I was for my dear friend Charmaine to find the man of her dreams and marry him.  I was purely joyous to see her celebrate the beginning of a new life together.  Both the bride and groom wrote their own vows and she had the great line in her vows...  She said all the important stuff, like how she will stand by him and love him and how he is so wonderful.... all nice but the best line I've ever heard was when , after a long pause and with an emotionally quivering voice, she said "you're my best time"

What a great way to say I like you and I love you!  Char has always had a way with words but this was publishable...  I loved it!  

I can't wait to find someone who will be my best time - especially since I have some pretty great times now!!! 

Congratulations Char and Glen!!  I am so happy for you guys!!

Bonjour Paris

I went to see one of my all time favourite movies this week at the Edmonton Film Society Summer series of Noteworthy Musicals. I remember watching it years ago and liking it but I couldn't remember much about it. I was so excited to see it again to remind me why I loved it so much. The movie was Funny Face with Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn from 1956 -Fashion world meets philosophy... I truly loved it... I found myself being caught up in the images and the dreamy courtship that was a surprise to both of them. I want to try and find a copy for myself to add to my collection of favourites. It made me miss Paris though. Since Paris is the fashion capital, part of the movie took place there. It was fabulous!

It made me jealous of my friends, Danny and Hailey who will be returning to Europe in a few weeks to travel for 4 weeks - Grrrrr...

The scene is Fred Astaire, a well known fashion photographer, the Magazine editor and Audrey Hepburn, the magazine's cover girl have just arrived in Paris are saying to each other they are tired and want to go to their hotels to get some rest as though being in Paris is no big deal to them. However, they are privately excited to see the sites of this great city and start to take in the tourist attractions. Being a musical there is a great little Gershwin song that they sing in part until they bump into each other on the streets of Paris and go up the Eiffel Tower together. I wish I knew the lyrics to this song before I went to Paris - I would have sang them in the streets as I strolled along... But the Eiffel tower... there is just something about it.

I wish I took better pictures of it. There is a romance about that city... And even the elevator up - maybe it was the altitude or my lack of sleep but I found myself falling in love with the city... dreaming of a day in the life of a regular Parisian... That's for me: Bonjour Paris!

"Bonjour, Paris!"

I want to step out Down the Champs-Élysées,
From the Arch of Triumph To the Petit Palais.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

I want to wander Through
the Saint Honorais,
Do some window shopping
In the Rue de la Paye.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

I want to see the den of thinking men like Jean-Paul Sartre.
I must philosophise with all the guys around Montmartre and Montparnasse.

I'm strictly a tourist
But I couldn't care less.
When they parlez-vous me
Then I gotta confess.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

Light up the Louvre museum
Jazz up the Latin quarter
To show the richest and the poorest:
Here it comes, The great American tourist!

This has got to be illegal
What I feel
Trés gay, trés chic,
Trés mag-nifique
C'est moi, c'est vous
C'est grand, c'est too tu.
It's too good to be true,
All the things we can do.
You do things to my point of view.

We can show you the north or
We can show you the south then
We can show you the west
Come on and show me the best!
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

Bonjour. Bonjour!
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!
PEOPLE.Bonjour!

Living is easy,
The livin' is high.
All good Americans
Should come here to die.
Bonjour!

Is it real? Am I here?
Am I here? Is it real?

There's something missing
There's something missing, I know.
There's something missing
There's something missing, I know:
There's still one place I've got to go!

Oh! Oh no!

I thought that you were tired.
You said that you were tired.
I heard you say that you...
You told me you were tired!
You said that you were so exhausted!
You said you needed sleep!
You told that you had to rest.
You said you ought to rest.
I thought you wanted rest.
Is this what you call rest?
I haven't time to rest!

This fussing and fretting
It's getting my goat.
Let's all let our hair down,
We're in the same boat!

We're strictly tourists,
You can titter and jeer.
All we want to say is La faiette we are here
On a spree,
Bonjour, Paris...! Bonjour!

Oh reading it doesn't do it justice... you just have to see it....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsMipvkpMMs

I want to go back and spend more time there...

and everywhere...

Turtles and Speed Bumps

Can you see it? If you can't that's ok - I didn't! For 2 years I have walked these same sidewalks in the off leash area near my house and I have met some very interesting people. Another dog owner I met kept telling me to watch out for turtles. I always laughed awkwardly wondering what they were talking about. I was pretty sure there were no turtles living in my neighbourhood but they said it without the wink wink nudge nudge which made me wonder if they were a little confused. There are no turtles in my area - it was impossible! Ducks, cats, pigeons, seagulls, rabbits and even a rumoured coyote who has wondered up from the river valley have made this park their home but not turtles. Then it dawned on me.

The turtles were the bumps in the sidewalks caused by the roots systems of the trees. It is actually crazy to see how they have erupted through the asphalt sidewalk to create a mini-hill which are referred to as "turtles".

I have always enjoyed a brisk walk through this area and some days we go for a run. It in almost inevitable for me to trip and stumble on the broken surface of the pavement. Typically I get distracted and don't pay attention to my footing and my toe gets caught on the uneven blacktop. I would love to blame someone else for my embarrassment in these moments but I just laugh at my clumsiness. This could be the great analogy of my life as the turtles are the little speed bumps in my world that cause me to slow down and look at my focus and ask where is it? If it isn't on the road before me - I run the risk of falling. If my attention is not on the route I could either go astray and veer off the pathway or I might not be able to maneuver around a "turtle" which could be a tripping hazard and injure myself which would alter my ability to continue the journey. Ok perhaps that is a bit over the top - but when I am out for a walk by myself - many things run through my head!

My mother tells me I have always been the type of person who likes to stop and smell the roses but in my day to day life I find certain events in life can cause us to be jaded and forget to appreciate the events going on around us with wonder. Summer is full of great moments, from beautiful sunsets and flowers in bloom to the flash of lightening and the fresh smell of summer rain; or a child's giggle in the wading pool and the aroma of the backyard BBQ to washing my car and making it shine and then driving it with great music and the sunroof open to the lake! This is the stuff life life is made of.

For someone who didn't know what a "turtle" was I have developed a great appreciation for these small neighbourhood creatures. They teach me to slow down and pay attention. To see the great things that surround me and enjoy those in my life that make me a better person. I am really so blessed and I guess it sometimes takes falling hard on our a$$ to learn that.

I have a great respect for God's timing in my life. I don't think of myself as impatient but some days I don't understand the word "wait". I have learned so much in the past 3 years with leaving a job I enjoyed to many jobs I did not enjoy to a new job that shows promise and in it all I saw great things. I am thankful for God's Sovereignty in my life and his knowledge of what I need but I just wish he would let me in on the long term plans! There are things going on in my head and in my heart that are new and I need some insight on why these issues have surfaced. What does God have in store for me - how does he want to use me in the coming year. How can I make use of my gifts to follow through on these hopes and dreams. How does it all fit together. Here I am again - asking and not listening. I need to walk slower, pay attention and maybe I will start to see how it all fits together. Just one step at a time - Right?

HIV/AIDS ~ Where do I begin?

Last summer I went to hear an African Children's Choir on tour here in Edmonton sing at a local church. It was so heart warming to see their smiling faces and listen to them sing at the top of their lungs. They had more energy and enthusiasm than any choir or singing team that I have ever seen, as well as a heart to share love with the audience. Some of the kids told their stories, including a girl who shared how her mother was killed in an attack on her village and she was hiding under a matt. Another boy talked about both of his parents dying of HIV/AIDS and being orphaned by the rest of his family. . I was so moved by their stories I couldn't help but fall in love with their little faces! They sang with an inner joy and peace about the opportunity they were being given. Some of them talked about this being their second chance at life to make an impact. I was so impressed with the way they conducted themselves but I did notice there were a few of them wearing a medical bracelet. It got me thinking about the ones who talked about having parents who died of HIV/AIDS seemed to be the ones who were wearing the bracelets. I wondered if these sweet little kids also were infected. At the end of the evening they asked if there were people who might be interested in the future to join their team as teachers, leaders and other chaperons on future trips around the world. I took an application. Haven't done anything about it yet - but I am thinking about it. What an experience it could be.

~~~~~~

December 1st is World HIV/AIDS day and this past year I was able to be a part of an event that raised awareness of the disease. We hosted an evening at city hall with food and shared information about the seriousness of the spread of the disease in Africa. We briefly talked about how HIV/AIDS impacts us here in Canada but our focus was on developing nations. The money collected from this event went to support our team trip to Africa where we were able to experience a real hands on learning of how the HIV/AIDS education is getting into the lives of young people in these countries. I was so proud to be able to stand with my Canadian team and attempt to be proactive and educate the high school students we were talking with about the disease. I was encouraged to hear the amount of information they already knew about the spread of the disease and the importance of being safe.

~~~~~~

Just before winter I met a lady named Andrea. She lives in Edmonton and just by looking at her you can tell she has had a rough life. She is pretty happy-go-lucky but some days she looks like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She shared with me privately this year that she has been living with HIV and is on a daily cocktail of multiple pills to keep her immune system functioning enough for today. She came up to me last week after not seeing me in over 2 months and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so happy to see her because I don't know if I will see her again. I get so angry when I think of this disease and how it is completely preventable! I know a cure can happen but in the in-between time it breaks my heart to hear of how many people still become infected when there is so much education and information out there for them to protect themselves.

~~~~~~

So do I pat myself on the back and say I've done my part

or do I get louder and say what can you do about it?

A Life of Blessing

I had the honor of being invited to attend the Commencement and Graduation banquet of the Jasper Place High school class of 2007 this past week. On Tuesday evening I went to the Jubilee Auditorium to see many of the kids from the youth group walk across the stage and graduate proudly. I especially was beaming when I saw my Africa Travel Buddy get up and give the valedictorian speech to her peers, teachers and family. Watching her mature over the years made it an exciting experience for me to work with her in Africa. She was pushed outside her comfort zone and challenged but it grew her as well. She spent the whole day at the orphanage holding this very sick little baby who had a high temperature because of the malaria.

She was inspiring and eloquent in what she said and her challenge to her fellow graduates was practical and heartfelt. I looked around as she was speaking and everyone was focused on what she had to say - it was like you could hear a pin drop in the room - all the attention was on her! She did a great job!

Thursday came and it was a mad rush to get home from work and get ready to go to the graduation banquet. I had already decided on what I was going to wear so it was just a matter of putting it all together in 30 minutes! Voila - out the door without lip gloss - I thought I could finish in the car. When I arrived it was impressive to see the guys in their suits and the girls decked out in some of the most beautiful gowns I have ever seen! It looked like a red carpet celebrity gathering... so classy! Once inside we had a lovely meal and a very lengthy program. They had all the grads line up and do the grand march through the room to the dance floor where they started the dance. I stayed for short time but I had to get going home. Robbie J, another non-grad attendee, parked a few blocks away and offered to escort me through the sketchy downtown streets to my car which I greatly appreciated and I drove him and Chet to where Robbie had parked. On my way home I was remembering my grad and what a strange night it was for me. I wish I could go back and do it all over again with less drama!

As I looked around the empty streets I saw an orange glow low in the sky and it was the moon. It was full and bright - like a giant navel orange floating in the midst of a dark blue sky. I find there are few sights as engaging as the sky - throughout the year... always changing and always beautiful.

I guess it's moments like this when I am reminded that there is something bigger than myself working in the universe to show me that there is so much more available to me if I only can grab onto it. I have been so blessed in my life and I can only imagine what is to come in the future!

Being Home Blues

So it has been over a week since I returned from my humanitarian aid trip to West Africa. I have worked on other projects with those in poverty both within my own country and in South America but for some reason I can't seem to transition back to my Canadian life so easily. I know part of it stems from my personal frustration with my present employment situation. It seemed so much easier when I didn't have to deal with the day-to-day drama I have at my job and now after the trip my frustrations seem so much more amplified. Perhaps there are more layers to my discontented heart. I feel like there was a mysterious connection that happened in my soul while overseas that just can't be re-created here. I felt different - perhaps it was the change of pace or the steady stream of new images that were bombarding me or maybe it was just the feeling of belonging to something with a purpose.
I am well aware of the reverse culture shock people experience after being exposed to such diversity and new opportunities but I can tell you that it's not just that... I think it's more. Maybe it's the loss of the community we had, the feeling of abandonment or just not having the same chemistry with those around me now. Or maybe it is just my innermost passion and desire to travel and see the world but I have always been comfortable with my travel dreams. There were times when I was in Paris when I would glance around me and whisper up prayers that these feelings would never end but blossom into more/new opportunity to see more of our planet. Since I have returned home all I can think about it where to go next? I have been dreaming about Asia and what that might hold for me. Some might say I am running away from my problems and not willing to face the hard questions of life but I say I am running towards the greatest classroom of all to help me discover more of what I want from life.
Is it a quarter life crisis… am I searching for the freedom of a grade 12 ready to take on the world or is there something I need to pay attention to deep with in my soul? I can tell you that over the next few weeks something has to change, I am trying to be patient but I don't know if I can really thrive when I feel like I can barely survive. I just keep asking myself – is this as good as it gets? There has got to be more… God has designed me for more and I can't shake the feeling that I need to figure out what that is or I will shrivel up and never fully embrace the life He has planned for me. I guess I will have to spend some intentional time figuring out what come next for me.

My Own Company

Yesterday was Good Friday and I was sitting at home after a full week of grounding to ensure my health had started to return. Upon self diagnosis I was feeling well enough to go out but not willing to put in a lot of effort to find a social gathering to attend so I decided to go out with one of my favorite people - ME! I packed up my travel journal and headed over to one of my favorite Starbucks to reflect on the last few days of my African experience that I have since neglected to complete since arriving home.
As I sipped on my tall vanilla decaf Americano with room I would look up from my pages to glance around the cafe. I started to notice the last 2 women were putting on their jackets to leave and the rest of the room was filled with single men in their late 30's. Every time I would look up to take a drink my eyes would meet with one or two of the 8 guys angled in my sightlines. Some were so bold as to hold my glance to smile at me. I very quickly started to feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable. It was like the walls were closing in on me, the door seemed further away and I would have to respond to some awkward comment. I normally would have appreciated the neighborly grin or the welcoming smile but this was different... I felt like prey waiting to be pounced on. At this point I did what any insecure girl disinterested in confrontation did - I dug out my cell phone and occupied my attention by punching a bunch of buttons and trying to look as if I would be expecting something better, to give the illusion of more than just me. This held them off for a short time but they continued to close in on me not just with their eyes and their smiles but one brave soldier walked over to the shelf near my table to glance at what I was working on. I looked directly at him as he was peering over my shoulder and looked away after an embarrassed "hello". He went back to his 3-seated table in the left corner to update his mates of what he was sent to scout out. I could barely stand it any longer, I finished off the final thoughts in my journal, tossed my cup and headed out as if I was late for something very important. I started to scurry faster when I noticed another gentleman in particular standing from his chair and starting to come towards me - this was my cue to head for the hills.
I guess spending a Friday night on a long weekend out at a coffee shop alone does project a certain message but when did it become open season for those that sit alone. Isn't there an unwritten rule about those journaling or studying or occupied by choice?
I enjoy spending time at cafes where I can be with my thoughts - I have come up with some of my greatest revelations in a Tim Horton's, Second cup and Starbucks near you! I have drafted up many business profiles and entrepreneurial ideas to develop as well as life altering concepts to my decision-making and leadership. Where can I go to find solace with my own company both professionally and personally? What can I do to take back the carefree cappuccino dates and the latte laughter with myself? Do I always need an escort to keep predators at bay?
Perhaps I am being a bit over dramatic but this was an odd evening. I know I have seen some cute boys in the past sitting in my sightline and wished they would come talk to me but Mr. Right was not among this crowd!

In the middle of the night I begin to question...

For almost a whole month I have not been able to sleep through the entire night. At first I thought it was because I was in the African heat and my body was still dealing with the jet-lag but during my 2 week stay in West Africa I didn't have a full night's rest. Since my return to Canada an internal alarm has been going off and I have only assumed it is the return jet lag again but I am noticing a pattern. These have been my observations although not entirely scientific.
1. It usually happens between 4-5am local time irrelevant of my location - In Africa it was 4-5am and now in Canada my eyes open at 4-5 am.
2. My mind begins to race about similar items - life, friends, love, and purpose - not in that order... I am not overly stressed by any one of them but certain issues float to the front of my mind and I start to work overtime.
3. I have noticed it keeps me alert for approximately 30-60 minutes depending on how quickly I can tuck those thoughts back into my sleepy head.
4. I had a well respected friend once tell me he felt God talked to him in dreams - I believed him - God talks to many people through their dreams. Shortly after his divine revelations I remember praying for God to talk to me through my dreams to help me with answers around some major decisions I was making at the time. God wanted to use other communication forms to keep me humble. SO my fourth and final observation at this time is more of a question that maybe God is waking me up between 4-5am to talk. But I just don't know how to start the conversation at that time. OR is it just jet lag?
Last night was particularly strange as I have been at home all week because of illness but last night I went out with friends. Not just any friends but the team I traveled to Africa with - Great group! It was nice to see them again after the trip; we looked at pictures, talked about our experiences and unpacked some of the return depression that has sunken in for some of us. After the evening was over I arrived home, got ready for bed and drifted off into a great sleep - but 4:17am - WIDE AWAKE! And my thoughts started to race in a metaphor – strange I know but I paralleled my experience to an expensive car, hard to explain. This is the metaphor:
My friend has a new Porsche and was cruising around in it last night, we were able to ooo and aww at his new toy which to any of us was impressive. I felt somewhat envious but I am not into porches like he is - but I sure like to watch them and I was happy for him and the joy he had from showing it to us.
I noticed some of our friends were asking to test drive his new Porsche - I cringed as I thought it might not be a smart idea to trust your new toy with just anyone but he agreed with a watchful eye. At one point he turned to me and asked - Do you want to try? My heart skipped and I felt a sense of honor by just being asked however out of my mouth came these words – no, that's ok. No sooner did I say them than I realized how much I wanted to just sit behind the wheel - why did I say no - what would make me say something that wasn't true.... so here I am lying awake contemplating this - Dumb I know...
I started to see things a little clearer both about myself and about my friend. First - my friend was enjoying his Porsche through the eyes of his friends - with every new person who took it out for a spin he was able to share a passion he had with them - enlightening them to the style and sophistication that his little purchase brought. He wanted to share the joy that this car brought to himself with others by letting them experience it personally. For many of us it would be the first time we test-drove anything at this caliber.
Secondly - I realized I am afraid. I had this weird feeling in that moment when he offered me the keys - what if I don't drive it well? I was afraid I couldn't drive stick as well as him and my insecurities about how I am perceived got the best of me and I may have insulted my friend after he was gracious enough to want to share his new joy with me.
Ok so now that my revelation has come into full view, the clock reads 4:38am and now the only thing I can think of is finding a way to apologize. How do I say it – do I say anything at all – does he even remember – am I making a bigger deal out of nothing – it can't be nothing I have spend the last 20+ minutes thinking about it. It's one of those things that if I skim over it, I might be overlooking an opportunity to encourage and repair any damage to our friendship but if I draw attention to something that wasn't a big deal he might think I am just a nut case – which at this point in the middle of the night – is true!
At 4:52am I was able to turn over, close my eyes and feel like I had solved the crisis of the night. I think that no matter what the issue is that seems to awaken me – it's 10 times bigger at that time of night!
My hope is that my sleep each night will be full and complete that any interruptions will be essential and short. I also hope my fears would be diminished through an attitude of confidence and I can enjoy each moment when I am faced with it.