The gift of time...

There have been times where I think I should update this blog but I feel like it would be so random.  I have had various events and activities take place since my last post but I haven't been able to squeeze the right words out at the right time...  It's busy!

It's Easter weekend and a time for reflection on the meaning of the historical events

 surrounding the days.  Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday...  

Gift of Life everlasting

and this weekend the gift of time...  

I love the R&R of a long weekend and to make things truly fabulous - it is sunny and warm!

God is Good!  

New Year, New Day, New Traditions

Where has the time gone... It feels like forever since I was able to sit down and write a little ditty.  I guess it became an excuse to wait and hold out for something significant...  To add something of monumental proportion because it had been so long since my last entry - the follow up had to be amazing!  However - I just kept procrastinating and therefore I have not written since the end of summer.  Shame on me!

Well, part of my delay was due to some computer problems that were the cause of many frustrations.  I made the decision that I would buy a new laptop this year and well I did. I seriously LOVE my MacBook.  I have been playing with all the different features and it makes me laugh... Check it out...

Seriously - I wasn't even making a funny face in these pictures - it's juts the way the camera effects distorts the image....  So funny.... 

This one cracks me up - It makes me look like I have a round face and a HUGE nose!! Ha ha ha!!

I spent an abnormal amount of time making faces with the different effects.... all of which made me look disgusting... still funny though.

As for other fun stuff - I spent Christmas eve alone in a hotel in Saskatoon.  

You may be thinking "Oh poor girl, how lonely - but it was actually fun!! I went swimming in the hotel pool because it was completely empty... no surprise.  Then I took my dog for a walk in an older heritage area of the city and came upon an old anglican church.  I heard the old pipe organ playing Silent Night, Holy Night and I stopped for just a second to savor this moment.  

I walked to the back side of the church and I noticed they had 3 large stained glass windows that were lit up from the service going on inside.  I examined the images closer and they were that of the 3 Wise men, Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus in the middle and the Shepherds in the last window.  It was a very mystical moment as the pipe organ music played, the crystal snow flakes reflected the street lights and I stopped for a second with only my breath vapors moving in the stillness.  

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said to them, Fear not: for, behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.    Luke 2:9-11

As for future post... I'm back.

And I will keeping you updated on the "goings on" in my life.  

Stay tuned for some exciting news...

  

Turtles and Speed Bumps

Can you see it? If you can't that's ok - I didn't! For 2 years I have walked these same sidewalks in the off leash area near my house and I have met some very interesting people. Another dog owner I met kept telling me to watch out for turtles. I always laughed awkwardly wondering what they were talking about. I was pretty sure there were no turtles living in my neighbourhood but they said it without the wink wink nudge nudge which made me wonder if they were a little confused. There are no turtles in my area - it was impossible! Ducks, cats, pigeons, seagulls, rabbits and even a rumoured coyote who has wondered up from the river valley have made this park their home but not turtles. Then it dawned on me.

The turtles were the bumps in the sidewalks caused by the roots systems of the trees. It is actually crazy to see how they have erupted through the asphalt sidewalk to create a mini-hill which are referred to as "turtles".

I have always enjoyed a brisk walk through this area and some days we go for a run. It in almost inevitable for me to trip and stumble on the broken surface of the pavement. Typically I get distracted and don't pay attention to my footing and my toe gets caught on the uneven blacktop. I would love to blame someone else for my embarrassment in these moments but I just laugh at my clumsiness. This could be the great analogy of my life as the turtles are the little speed bumps in my world that cause me to slow down and look at my focus and ask where is it? If it isn't on the road before me - I run the risk of falling. If my attention is not on the route I could either go astray and veer off the pathway or I might not be able to maneuver around a "turtle" which could be a tripping hazard and injure myself which would alter my ability to continue the journey. Ok perhaps that is a bit over the top - but when I am out for a walk by myself - many things run through my head!

My mother tells me I have always been the type of person who likes to stop and smell the roses but in my day to day life I find certain events in life can cause us to be jaded and forget to appreciate the events going on around us with wonder. Summer is full of great moments, from beautiful sunsets and flowers in bloom to the flash of lightening and the fresh smell of summer rain; or a child's giggle in the wading pool and the aroma of the backyard BBQ to washing my car and making it shine and then driving it with great music and the sunroof open to the lake! This is the stuff life life is made of.

For someone who didn't know what a "turtle" was I have developed a great appreciation for these small neighbourhood creatures. They teach me to slow down and pay attention. To see the great things that surround me and enjoy those in my life that make me a better person. I am really so blessed and I guess it sometimes takes falling hard on our a$$ to learn that.

I have a great respect for God's timing in my life. I don't think of myself as impatient but some days I don't understand the word "wait". I have learned so much in the past 3 years with leaving a job I enjoyed to many jobs I did not enjoy to a new job that shows promise and in it all I saw great things. I am thankful for God's Sovereignty in my life and his knowledge of what I need but I just wish he would let me in on the long term plans! There are things going on in my head and in my heart that are new and I need some insight on why these issues have surfaced. What does God have in store for me - how does he want to use me in the coming year. How can I make use of my gifts to follow through on these hopes and dreams. How does it all fit together. Here I am again - asking and not listening. I need to walk slower, pay attention and maybe I will start to see how it all fits together. Just one step at a time - Right?

HIV/AIDS ~ Where do I begin?

Last summer I went to hear an African Children's Choir on tour here in Edmonton sing at a local church. It was so heart warming to see their smiling faces and listen to them sing at the top of their lungs. They had more energy and enthusiasm than any choir or singing team that I have ever seen, as well as a heart to share love with the audience. Some of the kids told their stories, including a girl who shared how her mother was killed in an attack on her village and she was hiding under a matt. Another boy talked about both of his parents dying of HIV/AIDS and being orphaned by the rest of his family. . I was so moved by their stories I couldn't help but fall in love with their little faces! They sang with an inner joy and peace about the opportunity they were being given. Some of them talked about this being their second chance at life to make an impact. I was so impressed with the way they conducted themselves but I did notice there were a few of them wearing a medical bracelet. It got me thinking about the ones who talked about having parents who died of HIV/AIDS seemed to be the ones who were wearing the bracelets. I wondered if these sweet little kids also were infected. At the end of the evening they asked if there were people who might be interested in the future to join their team as teachers, leaders and other chaperons on future trips around the world. I took an application. Haven't done anything about it yet - but I am thinking about it. What an experience it could be.

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December 1st is World HIV/AIDS day and this past year I was able to be a part of an event that raised awareness of the disease. We hosted an evening at city hall with food and shared information about the seriousness of the spread of the disease in Africa. We briefly talked about how HIV/AIDS impacts us here in Canada but our focus was on developing nations. The money collected from this event went to support our team trip to Africa where we were able to experience a real hands on learning of how the HIV/AIDS education is getting into the lives of young people in these countries. I was so proud to be able to stand with my Canadian team and attempt to be proactive and educate the high school students we were talking with about the disease. I was encouraged to hear the amount of information they already knew about the spread of the disease and the importance of being safe.

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Just before winter I met a lady named Andrea. She lives in Edmonton and just by looking at her you can tell she has had a rough life. She is pretty happy-go-lucky but some days she looks like she is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She shared with me privately this year that she has been living with HIV and is on a daily cocktail of multiple pills to keep her immune system functioning enough for today. She came up to me last week after not seeing me in over 2 months and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was so happy to see her because I don't know if I will see her again. I get so angry when I think of this disease and how it is completely preventable! I know a cure can happen but in the in-between time it breaks my heart to hear of how many people still become infected when there is so much education and information out there for them to protect themselves.

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So do I pat myself on the back and say I've done my part

or do I get louder and say what can you do about it?

Through My Eyes

During my trip to Africa I was able to keep a travel journal and jotted down thoughts, experiences and even prayers for what I hoped to accomplish while I was there. This became quite lengthy as our pace was very fast and so much was happening in a short amount of time. Everything was new and there was a steady change in my surroundings as I was being bombarded with new emotions and images, I needed to process them some how. Now I sit flipping through the pages and pages of scribble wondering who will ever read these accounts, then I thought I should compile it on the computer. No sorry it won't show up on MySpace or any blogging site because some of it is quite personal but I think it might be worth sharing with my team mates at some point. I could share it with my other friends but it just doesn't mean as much to them like it does with someone who has experienced it. Some of the team have already asked to read parts of what I wrote and another guy on the team says he will be compiling his journal entries into a book for for the rest of us. I wonder how different or similar our accounts of the same events will be. I started typing tonight and I am on page 9 but I am only at the part where we landed on African soil in Libya. And the funny part is I am not editing much information out, even the stuff I wrote for my own sake; it is pretty authentic to what I was experiencing - pretty much - uncut - the raw emotions and generally uncensored. It makes me nervous to share but I think it has value to re-live those experiences though the eyes of another and remembering how that moment impacted each of us. If you are interested in reading the completed version - talk to me. I will ensure you can experience Project Niger through my eyes.

Being Home Blues

So it has been over a week since I returned from my humanitarian aid trip to West Africa. I have worked on other projects with those in poverty both within my own country and in South America but for some reason I can't seem to transition back to my Canadian life so easily. I know part of it stems from my personal frustration with my present employment situation. It seemed so much easier when I didn't have to deal with the day-to-day drama I have at my job and now after the trip my frustrations seem so much more amplified. Perhaps there are more layers to my discontented heart. I feel like there was a mysterious connection that happened in my soul while overseas that just can't be re-created here. I felt different - perhaps it was the change of pace or the steady stream of new images that were bombarding me or maybe it was just the feeling of belonging to something with a purpose.
I am well aware of the reverse culture shock people experience after being exposed to such diversity and new opportunities but I can tell you that it's not just that... I think it's more. Maybe it's the loss of the community we had, the feeling of abandonment or just not having the same chemistry with those around me now. Or maybe it is just my innermost passion and desire to travel and see the world but I have always been comfortable with my travel dreams. There were times when I was in Paris when I would glance around me and whisper up prayers that these feelings would never end but blossom into more/new opportunity to see more of our planet. Since I have returned home all I can think about it where to go next? I have been dreaming about Asia and what that might hold for me. Some might say I am running away from my problems and not willing to face the hard questions of life but I say I am running towards the greatest classroom of all to help me discover more of what I want from life.
Is it a quarter life crisis… am I searching for the freedom of a grade 12 ready to take on the world or is there something I need to pay attention to deep with in my soul? I can tell you that over the next few weeks something has to change, I am trying to be patient but I don't know if I can really thrive when I feel like I can barely survive. I just keep asking myself – is this as good as it gets? There has got to be more… God has designed me for more and I can't shake the feeling that I need to figure out what that is or I will shrivel up and never fully embrace the life He has planned for me. I guess I will have to spend some intentional time figuring out what come next for me.