The gift of time...

There have been times where I think I should update this blog but I feel like it would be so random.  I have had various events and activities take place since my last post but I haven't been able to squeeze the right words out at the right time...  It's busy!

It's Easter weekend and a time for reflection on the meaning of the historical events

 surrounding the days.  Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday...  

Gift of Life everlasting

and this weekend the gift of time...  

I love the R&R of a long weekend and to make things truly fabulous - it is sunny and warm!

God is Good!  

Question 4

Tell us some crazy dog stories that made you laugh (Part A) 

or cry (Part B)

A) My home is situated in an older heritage part of the city with big yards and large trees which was a perfect fit for bringing a new German Shepherd puppy home in August. When the seasons changed into fall the canopy of trees that line the streets lighten to beautiful shades of yellow, orange and red. For residence in my community we wait for the windy days to blow all the leaves down to rake them up before the snow falls. It was a particularly sunny fall Saturday and I thought I would get a head start on this project so I gave myself a time limit - in 1 hour this yard will be cleaned and ready for snow. I made a few piles in the yard while my dog sniffed around and watched the changing landscape of the yard. I was very focussed and fixed on a timeline to get this task done. As soon as I turned my back on my dog she would dive head first into the leaves... at first I was upset, "this is going to take forever if the dumb dog keeps spreading the leaves all over the yard!" But then I looked at her little face sticking out from the middle of the pile and laughed, eventually I found myself laying in the grass and leaves with my little 4 month puppy having a great time. In life we tend to get busy and forget to take time to enjoy the moment.





B) In Alberta we are lucky to have a provincial holiday called Family Day in February, originally designed to provide an extra day off in the year to be with the ones you love. As a young single girl on this particular occasion I thought I would spend my day off with my 2 year old dog, Paris. It was sunny and warm for a mid-winter day so we piled into my vehicle and travelled to an off-leash park that we had never been to. I put the car into park in front of a seniors building along the street where I saw all the dogs, their owners and their families. It was going to be a great day! We entered the park and it was fast becoming my favorite day of 2008 so far. After about 2 hours of hiking in the beautiful trees and along the paths I was ready to leave. Paris realized her fun was ending and I could sense her walking further away from me and not coming when I called. This has happened before but I was not prepared for the drama that we were about to go through. No matter how much I tried to trick her, corner her, lure her or even turn around and fake that were still walking - she would not return to me to go home. After about 45 minutes of trying to catch her I heard sirens coming towards us. Did someone call the police on me?? A fire truck and an ambulance pulled up in front of the seniors building where my car was parked. I tried to keep Paris away from the commotion because they had their own crisis to deal with and didn't need a lose German Shepherd running around. I thought if I walked over to my car she would follow but she didn't, one of the fire men was sitting in the truck watching my frustration increase. I decided that I would get in my car to move it closer to where the park entry was and away from the emergency vehicles. Perhaps my dog would see me driving that she would come over and hop in. My plan did not work out. As soon as I got in my vehicle the emergency personnel were wheeling the gurney out with an elderly woman on it and Paris was right in the middle barking. I slammed on my brakes, through my car into park and jumped out to help divert her away. She was still up to her tricks and 3 firemen were involved at this point trying to help me get her under control. Eventually she stopped and sat in the middle of the road with her ears back, I was able to clip the leash onto her collar and drag her into the car. I thanked the firemen for their help, got into my car and burst out crying. How did that go so terribly wrong? What could I have done differently? It was so overwhelming to me, I cried all the way home when I started talking about it later with a friend I just bawled. The fun and enjoyable 2 hours walk was forgotten by the 2 hours of chasing and drama that resulted at the end. The next day I logged onto http://www.bradpattison.com/ and signed up for his seminar for the coming weekend. I don't have a temper but I just felt so helpless, powerless and out of control. I truly was at the end of my leash!

Trying to Recover... Just No Way.

I was telling some of my friends about a situation that occurred at work and they feel this is something that I need to share with all the others in my circle of friends...  I am still rather embarrassed by it but it is still pretty funny.  

So from the original email sent out to a few friends on Monday it has exploded into a silly story that I keep hearing - tell the story...  So instead of re-living it, I will just post it and refer future mockers to this site.  So without further explanation, I give you, my humiliation.

It was the start of a new work week, Monday, February 8, 2008.  I stopped in on the 3rd floor at the cafeteria at work to get my large Vanilla Hazelnut coffee.  The line up was short on this morning so I stirred my milk and sweetener and left the coffee area.  As I was rounding the corner with my cup-a-joe... I almost smashed into some guy who also was on his way for a morning kick start.  He was a short balding man in his mid/late 40's - sort of George Costanza resemblance...  So remove the potential of a romantic happy ending...  Although that would be a more interesting and fun story I would rather post.

Of course he becomes very apologetic for the near miss (thank goodness for lids!) and I search my vocabulary for something witty and light to say to minimize the awkwardness...  

The first words out of my mouth are... Hakuna matata....  since it is fresh from a conversation I had the night before with some friends. We were wondering why this phrase never made it into our everyday speech like the phrase "no worries" which according to the Disney movie the Lion King means the same thing.  

At this point he looks at me right in the eye and on the awkward scale this was off the charts...  

He says in reply "what?" with squinted eyes and a scrunched up nose. So I then have to repeat my humility and say Hakuna Matata....  

He says "what is that?"  straight faced - no smile....  In my uncomfortable state and an already red face - I break out in a little song "...it means no worries, for the rest of your days...." and I think my shoulders were even swaying to the beat in my head....  at this point I think he just wanted to beat my head with his fist!!!  

I just kept talking hoping I could salvage something from this moment - I explained "it's from Lion King - you know..." hoping he had kids that maybe would have enlightened him into this cultural influence that we call Disney...  He says "oh, I don't know that one."   

LOSER!  

I am feeling like the biggest idiot and not sure where to go from this point, so I just say - "well you'll have to rent it" and I reach to push the button for the elevator to escape this brutal scene.  

He says "You mean it's a movie?" - Where is this guy from???  How does he not know The Lion King??? I confirmed it is a movie just as the elevator doors open - I jump on and again apologize for almost smashing into him. 

As the elevator doors start to close he says - "Hakmata tuta"  Totally butchers it.... but it kills me and I try to hold my laughter until the doors completely close.  I burst out laughing out loud in the empty elevator once it starts moving thinking I am in the clear.... 

The elevator stops on the 8th floor and walk to my desk laughing to myself about what just happened. I re-play the events and think to myself that it was out of a bloopers comedy or something it was so ridiculous!   

A few minutes later another girl I work with comes to my desk and tells me that she was at the elevator doors back on the 3rd floor when it closed.  She totally could hear me laughing all the way up to the eighth floor....  

Which means - that guy - totally heard me too! 

I think they are going to start random drug tests at my work!!!  I am sure he thought I was crazy, quoting random phrases that apparently make no sense and laughing alone in the elevator not to mention the singing and dancing. Why do I have these things happen to me?? 

Oh well, I guess it makes life entertaining!

Birthdays and Belly Dancers

I recently celebrated my birthday - well not really. You see I don't really like my birthday - not because I am getting older but because I am uncomfortable with so much attention on me for something I can't control. It takes no skill or talent to have a birthday - I wish I was celebrated when I accomplish something, like a great meal or a home renovation project - not a birthday. I know it is great to celebrate life but that can be done any day - not just the day of my birth. The Monday after my birthday I gave my 2 weeks notice and quit my job. Within my two week resignation period it was the company president's birthday. The staff team was trying to think of something to get him for the big day. Somehow it was decided he should have a strip-o-gram. Ha ha right? Someone must have said something so it was decided that might not be completely appropriate in the work environment so one of the girls in the office decided to take it upon herself to find a Marilyn Monroe look-a-like to sing in her breathy voice "happy birthday Mr.President" but after a week long attempt on company time - she came up with nothing. They tried to find something comparable and someone suggested a belly dancer... Not sure what they were going for there but somehow they felt a girl in a sequence outfit wiggling her belly screams "happy birthday". So it was booked... They asked everyone in the office to contribute $20 to pay for his entertainment...

But first a little company history....
As an employee we did not get Christmas bonuses, or raises because of the contractual positions we hold. We also do not get staff birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, or even cards from the boss because he does not see value in that extra expense. He also does not celebrate Administrative Professional day in our office and I felt like I had to plead my case to the judge every time I submitted an expense claim for my position. In a nut shell - we gave more to the company than we ever would get back. I felt I was making a difference in the lives of my clients so I stayed but eventually I had to leave.

Ok, back to the birthday party, I couldn't agree to shell out $20 for a questionable belly dancer to gyrate around my boss. I also started adding up the $20/person - this was not a cheap gift. I thought maybe if I avoided the event planners I wouldn't have to pay since it was my last week. Then it happened, I dropped my guard and was cornered in the lunch room by 2 of them

"So Erin, when were you going to give me your $20?"

Upon some counsel of wise friends they told me to stand my ground and not pay - but in that moment I felt so helpless - I caved. But I proceeded to tell them I would only pay half (my weak attempt at being assertive - I am so spineless in those situations) By their reactions I could sense they were going to be discussing my "attitude" later as they huddle in one of their offices with the door closed and speaking in the "low-talk".

So the day of the big party comes and all of a sudden the music comes on and this red flash of glitz comes wiggling by.... As you can see by the expression on my boss' face he was just as surprised as they rest of us.


I would have to say that he never smiles like this on a normal work day - this was EXTRA SPECIAL for him. And for that my $10 was worth putting a smile on his face.

What surprised me about this young girl is how sexual she was making the dance. I know belly dancing is an art and very cultural and I really appreciate it on those terms but this was a little more on the Strip-o-gram side of things.
She had a scarf that she would wrap around his neck and shimmy herself around him. So strange to watch. I felt like I was spying on a very personal moment even though I knew they had never met until that moment.

I had to laugh because my boss tried really hard to keep his eyes focused upward while she danced. Actually, to be honest - I didn't really know where to look either because of the way she was wiggling and jiggling she was trying to draw your eye to all her "parts".

One of the highlights for me was when she tried to get him up to dance with her. First off - are you kidding me? Secondly, my boss has no moves - no rhythm - no rhyme. It was like some great uncle trying to get funky at a wedding reception. BRUTAL! I have to give him props for trying at least. It was truly hilarious!

Once he did it another lady in the office thought she should give it a go. She is highly sexual in all that she does - in her office attire, speech and attitude so she was more than willing to volunteer. She is the ultimate cougar! Seriously, she was "undulating" all around the boardroom!
There were many photos taken of this event that will be memorable and I know that overall it was a good laugh. I can't help but wonder how I would feel if I found out that an over-sexed 45yr old cougar rented my husband a belly dancer for his birthday without discussing it with me or inviting me to join in the party for that day. I wonder how his wife feels. Moreover, I am curious to know why the entire staff team (made up of 90% women) wanted this highly sexual dance brought into the office environment? I am not commenting on that however, it was one of the weirdest ways I have ever spent $10!

Turtles and Speed Bumps

Can you see it? If you can't that's ok - I didn't! For 2 years I have walked these same sidewalks in the off leash area near my house and I have met some very interesting people. Another dog owner I met kept telling me to watch out for turtles. I always laughed awkwardly wondering what they were talking about. I was pretty sure there were no turtles living in my neighbourhood but they said it without the wink wink nudge nudge which made me wonder if they were a little confused. There are no turtles in my area - it was impossible! Ducks, cats, pigeons, seagulls, rabbits and even a rumoured coyote who has wondered up from the river valley have made this park their home but not turtles. Then it dawned on me.

The turtles were the bumps in the sidewalks caused by the roots systems of the trees. It is actually crazy to see how they have erupted through the asphalt sidewalk to create a mini-hill which are referred to as "turtles".

I have always enjoyed a brisk walk through this area and some days we go for a run. It in almost inevitable for me to trip and stumble on the broken surface of the pavement. Typically I get distracted and don't pay attention to my footing and my toe gets caught on the uneven blacktop. I would love to blame someone else for my embarrassment in these moments but I just laugh at my clumsiness. This could be the great analogy of my life as the turtles are the little speed bumps in my world that cause me to slow down and look at my focus and ask where is it? If it isn't on the road before me - I run the risk of falling. If my attention is not on the route I could either go astray and veer off the pathway or I might not be able to maneuver around a "turtle" which could be a tripping hazard and injure myself which would alter my ability to continue the journey. Ok perhaps that is a bit over the top - but when I am out for a walk by myself - many things run through my head!

My mother tells me I have always been the type of person who likes to stop and smell the roses but in my day to day life I find certain events in life can cause us to be jaded and forget to appreciate the events going on around us with wonder. Summer is full of great moments, from beautiful sunsets and flowers in bloom to the flash of lightening and the fresh smell of summer rain; or a child's giggle in the wading pool and the aroma of the backyard BBQ to washing my car and making it shine and then driving it with great music and the sunroof open to the lake! This is the stuff life life is made of.

For someone who didn't know what a "turtle" was I have developed a great appreciation for these small neighbourhood creatures. They teach me to slow down and pay attention. To see the great things that surround me and enjoy those in my life that make me a better person. I am really so blessed and I guess it sometimes takes falling hard on our a$$ to learn that.

I have a great respect for God's timing in my life. I don't think of myself as impatient but some days I don't understand the word "wait". I have learned so much in the past 3 years with leaving a job I enjoyed to many jobs I did not enjoy to a new job that shows promise and in it all I saw great things. I am thankful for God's Sovereignty in my life and his knowledge of what I need but I just wish he would let me in on the long term plans! There are things going on in my head and in my heart that are new and I need some insight on why these issues have surfaced. What does God have in store for me - how does he want to use me in the coming year. How can I make use of my gifts to follow through on these hopes and dreams. How does it all fit together. Here I am again - asking and not listening. I need to walk slower, pay attention and maybe I will start to see how it all fits together. Just one step at a time - Right?

A Life of Blessing

I had the honor of being invited to attend the Commencement and Graduation banquet of the Jasper Place High school class of 2007 this past week. On Tuesday evening I went to the Jubilee Auditorium to see many of the kids from the youth group walk across the stage and graduate proudly. I especially was beaming when I saw my Africa Travel Buddy get up and give the valedictorian speech to her peers, teachers and family. Watching her mature over the years made it an exciting experience for me to work with her in Africa. She was pushed outside her comfort zone and challenged but it grew her as well. She spent the whole day at the orphanage holding this very sick little baby who had a high temperature because of the malaria.

She was inspiring and eloquent in what she said and her challenge to her fellow graduates was practical and heartfelt. I looked around as she was speaking and everyone was focused on what she had to say - it was like you could hear a pin drop in the room - all the attention was on her! She did a great job!

Thursday came and it was a mad rush to get home from work and get ready to go to the graduation banquet. I had already decided on what I was going to wear so it was just a matter of putting it all together in 30 minutes! Voila - out the door without lip gloss - I thought I could finish in the car. When I arrived it was impressive to see the guys in their suits and the girls decked out in some of the most beautiful gowns I have ever seen! It looked like a red carpet celebrity gathering... so classy! Once inside we had a lovely meal and a very lengthy program. They had all the grads line up and do the grand march through the room to the dance floor where they started the dance. I stayed for short time but I had to get going home. Robbie J, another non-grad attendee, parked a few blocks away and offered to escort me through the sketchy downtown streets to my car which I greatly appreciated and I drove him and Chet to where Robbie had parked. On my way home I was remembering my grad and what a strange night it was for me. I wish I could go back and do it all over again with less drama!

As I looked around the empty streets I saw an orange glow low in the sky and it was the moon. It was full and bright - like a giant navel orange floating in the midst of a dark blue sky. I find there are few sights as engaging as the sky - throughout the year... always changing and always beautiful.

I guess it's moments like this when I am reminded that there is something bigger than myself working in the universe to show me that there is so much more available to me if I only can grab onto it. I have been so blessed in my life and I can only imagine what is to come in the future!

Holiday Monday and so on.

To bring you up to speed, the puncture holes in my foot still hurt but it seems to be healing. My mom made a joke about knowing how Jesus felt being nailed to the cross - but I think the nails they used were a little thicker - more like a stake! So, I am pretty much nothing like Jesus with two little 4 inch fencing nails. With some help from my dad, I finally was able to do some yard work. My lawn looks great thanks to my dad's skills at getting the lawn mower working and assisting me while I was a little gimped up. My friendly neighbour was digging up a bunch of her perennials and I replanted some of them into my yard. I have her raspberry canes, strawberry plants, irises, lilies and some other random plants we aren't sure what they are.

These are the Irises that I planted,

Here are the raspberries and one of the 8 strawberry plants in the sunshine!

I am excited to see how they will grow in my yard. I have this one bush that looks amazing right now - it's all flowering in these beautiful pink rose blossoms. It almost looks like a cherry tree but it doesn't produce any sort of fruit. The tight buds are amazing but they are almost all in full bloom now so it is entirely pink! Check it out.

After I came in from gardening, I remembered I forgot to put my Callingwood Farmer's Market purchase from Sunday in the fridge. I had bought a jar of homemade Kimchi from a lovely Korean family. The only problem is that when I looked in my purse it had opened and the juice had spilled everywhere! Thankfully it was still in a plastic bag but a little bit leaked out into the rest of my Oscar de la Renta hand bag! Now I have to throw it out because it stinks like kimchi! Gross!

As for some other exciting news, I am in the midst of planning a trip to Drumheller with some friends. I am not a dinosaur expert but I like the hoodoos and the trails down there so maybe we will be able to plan some good hikes! Everything is just in the planning stages yet.

So that is my long weekend and it's already Wednesday! Tomorrow is Mini-Friday and then the weekend! Wooo Hooo! I have to be honest this is the first year I have not attended YC and I am a little sad. I might have to explain that a little more - even so I can process it because it is a bit of a sore spot with me right now. Maybe another time.

Well that is all I have to say about that.

Being Home Blues

So it has been over a week since I returned from my humanitarian aid trip to West Africa. I have worked on other projects with those in poverty both within my own country and in South America but for some reason I can't seem to transition back to my Canadian life so easily. I know part of it stems from my personal frustration with my present employment situation. It seemed so much easier when I didn't have to deal with the day-to-day drama I have at my job and now after the trip my frustrations seem so much more amplified. Perhaps there are more layers to my discontented heart. I feel like there was a mysterious connection that happened in my soul while overseas that just can't be re-created here. I felt different - perhaps it was the change of pace or the steady stream of new images that were bombarding me or maybe it was just the feeling of belonging to something with a purpose.
I am well aware of the reverse culture shock people experience after being exposed to such diversity and new opportunities but I can tell you that it's not just that... I think it's more. Maybe it's the loss of the community we had, the feeling of abandonment or just not having the same chemistry with those around me now. Or maybe it is just my innermost passion and desire to travel and see the world but I have always been comfortable with my travel dreams. There were times when I was in Paris when I would glance around me and whisper up prayers that these feelings would never end but blossom into more/new opportunity to see more of our planet. Since I have returned home all I can think about it where to go next? I have been dreaming about Asia and what that might hold for me. Some might say I am running away from my problems and not willing to face the hard questions of life but I say I am running towards the greatest classroom of all to help me discover more of what I want from life.
Is it a quarter life crisis… am I searching for the freedom of a grade 12 ready to take on the world or is there something I need to pay attention to deep with in my soul? I can tell you that over the next few weeks something has to change, I am trying to be patient but I don't know if I can really thrive when I feel like I can barely survive. I just keep asking myself – is this as good as it gets? There has got to be more… God has designed me for more and I can't shake the feeling that I need to figure out what that is or I will shrivel up and never fully embrace the life He has planned for me. I guess I will have to spend some intentional time figuring out what come next for me.