Boot Camp in my Kenneth Cole shoes sipping my Grande 1-Pump Sugar-Free Vanilla, Nonfat Latte (Extra Foam, Extra Hot)

Training a dog isn't as simple as some people think.  Not all dogs respond the first time just like not all children learn the same way. I have been raising a German Shepherd X based on information provided from various sources including an 8 week doggy training school.  This obviously has not worked out as well as I would hoped since we are still having some simple obedience troubles.  Her behavior problems are nothing out of control but enough to make me frustrated at her stubborn nature.

It finally came to a breaking point and I needed some sort of intervention.

It was more than coincidence

that Brad Pattison, from the Television series End of My Leash on the Slice Network was holding a training seminar in my city.  I signed up immediately on www.bradpattison.com!

It was not what I was expecting but it exceeded what I was looking for.  Real practical tools I could use in my own home with my dog.  There was some sample ill-behaved dogs that he worked with to show us practical tools to take home and apply.  I was so thankful!! 

There was quite a bit of controversy over how he presented and the statements he made but that is Brad - he likes to ruffle feathers, maybe that is why I like him.  He isn't conventional but expects more than just the standard.  Tough guys that likes puppies - He won me over!

At the end of Saturday's seminar we were offered the option to return on Sunday to Starbucks on Whyte ave for some urban agility and other tools for having a dog among city life.  That was great!  Paris, my dog, was able to get involved in some real action and she did very well.  Although it was hard on the owners, running in deep snow, slaloming the light standards and trees, climbing up picnic tables, benches and around posts all with our dogs attached to our waists.  Brad calls it "umbilical training", I call it stressful!  She would go one way and I would go the other.  Tangled mess but by the end of the 20 minutes she followed me a lot closer!!  I was shocked at the difference in this period of time.

We then switched areas at which point Brad barked the order for all the owners to get down (on the pavement) and do 10 push-ups, someone complained and he yelled out "20!" I laughed but he was serious.  So, here I am in my cute cotton spring pants, black Kenneth Cole dress shoes that are full of snow from the drifts we had to run through earlier, on all four with my dog attached to my waist doing push ups in front of Starbucks/Chapters in one of the trendiest spots in town!!!  I must really like my dog and believe in this training because that is ridiuclous. 

Immediately after I was on a mission to make changes. 

I have been pleasantly surprised at how consistency is more important when it comes to certain things as well as teaching respect and re-positioning myself as the "alpha-role" in the house has changed our relationship immensely...

Brad is my hero - I had some good laughs with that guy.  I seriously would love to spend a day with him, he was pretty intense but seemed to have a great sense of humor.  It was good times.

On Brad's web site there were some great questions I was looking at and I thought I would use them as my next set of posts. Just for fun.

Trying to Recover... Just No Way.

I was telling some of my friends about a situation that occurred at work and they feel this is something that I need to share with all the others in my circle of friends...  I am still rather embarrassed by it but it is still pretty funny.  

So from the original email sent out to a few friends on Monday it has exploded into a silly story that I keep hearing - tell the story...  So instead of re-living it, I will just post it and refer future mockers to this site.  So without further explanation, I give you, my humiliation.

It was the start of a new work week, Monday, February 8, 2008.  I stopped in on the 3rd floor at the cafeteria at work to get my large Vanilla Hazelnut coffee.  The line up was short on this morning so I stirred my milk and sweetener and left the coffee area.  As I was rounding the corner with my cup-a-joe... I almost smashed into some guy who also was on his way for a morning kick start.  He was a short balding man in his mid/late 40's - sort of George Costanza resemblance...  So remove the potential of a romantic happy ending...  Although that would be a more interesting and fun story I would rather post.

Of course he becomes very apologetic for the near miss (thank goodness for lids!) and I search my vocabulary for something witty and light to say to minimize the awkwardness...  

The first words out of my mouth are... Hakuna matata....  since it is fresh from a conversation I had the night before with some friends. We were wondering why this phrase never made it into our everyday speech like the phrase "no worries" which according to the Disney movie the Lion King means the same thing.  

At this point he looks at me right in the eye and on the awkward scale this was off the charts...  

He says in reply "what?" with squinted eyes and a scrunched up nose. So I then have to repeat my humility and say Hakuna Matata....  

He says "what is that?"  straight faced - no smile....  In my uncomfortable state and an already red face - I break out in a little song "...it means no worries, for the rest of your days...." and I think my shoulders were even swaying to the beat in my head....  at this point I think he just wanted to beat my head with his fist!!!  

I just kept talking hoping I could salvage something from this moment - I explained "it's from Lion King - you know..." hoping he had kids that maybe would have enlightened him into this cultural influence that we call Disney...  He says "oh, I don't know that one."   

LOSER!  

I am feeling like the biggest idiot and not sure where to go from this point, so I just say - "well you'll have to rent it" and I reach to push the button for the elevator to escape this brutal scene.  

He says "You mean it's a movie?" - Where is this guy from???  How does he not know The Lion King??? I confirmed it is a movie just as the elevator doors open - I jump on and again apologize for almost smashing into him. 

As the elevator doors start to close he says - "Hakmata tuta"  Totally butchers it.... but it kills me and I try to hold my laughter until the doors completely close.  I burst out laughing out loud in the empty elevator once it starts moving thinking I am in the clear.... 

The elevator stops on the 8th floor and walk to my desk laughing to myself about what just happened. I re-play the events and think to myself that it was out of a bloopers comedy or something it was so ridiculous!   

A few minutes later another girl I work with comes to my desk and tells me that she was at the elevator doors back on the 3rd floor when it closed.  She totally could hear me laughing all the way up to the eighth floor....  

Which means - that guy - totally heard me too! 

I think they are going to start random drug tests at my work!!!  I am sure he thought I was crazy, quoting random phrases that apparently make no sense and laughing alone in the elevator not to mention the singing and dancing. Why do I have these things happen to me?? 

Oh well, I guess it makes life entertaining!

New Year, New Day, New Traditions

Where has the time gone... It feels like forever since I was able to sit down and write a little ditty.  I guess it became an excuse to wait and hold out for something significant...  To add something of monumental proportion because it had been so long since my last entry - the follow up had to be amazing!  However - I just kept procrastinating and therefore I have not written since the end of summer.  Shame on me!

Well, part of my delay was due to some computer problems that were the cause of many frustrations.  I made the decision that I would buy a new laptop this year and well I did. I seriously LOVE my MacBook.  I have been playing with all the different features and it makes me laugh... Check it out...

Seriously - I wasn't even making a funny face in these pictures - it's juts the way the camera effects distorts the image....  So funny.... 

This one cracks me up - It makes me look like I have a round face and a HUGE nose!! Ha ha ha!!

I spent an abnormal amount of time making faces with the different effects.... all of which made me look disgusting... still funny though.

As for other fun stuff - I spent Christmas eve alone in a hotel in Saskatoon.  

You may be thinking "Oh poor girl, how lonely - but it was actually fun!! I went swimming in the hotel pool because it was completely empty... no surprise.  Then I took my dog for a walk in an older heritage area of the city and came upon an old anglican church.  I heard the old pipe organ playing Silent Night, Holy Night and I stopped for just a second to savor this moment.  

I walked to the back side of the church and I noticed they had 3 large stained glass windows that were lit up from the service going on inside.  I examined the images closer and they were that of the 3 Wise men, Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus in the middle and the Shepherds in the last window.  It was a very mystical moment as the pipe organ music played, the crystal snow flakes reflected the street lights and I stopped for a second with only my breath vapors moving in the stillness.  

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said to them, Fear not: for, behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.    Luke 2:9-11

As for future post... I'm back.

And I will keeping you updated on the "goings on" in my life.  

Stay tuned for some exciting news...

  

Bonjour Paris

I went to see one of my all time favourite movies this week at the Edmonton Film Society Summer series of Noteworthy Musicals. I remember watching it years ago and liking it but I couldn't remember much about it. I was so excited to see it again to remind me why I loved it so much. The movie was Funny Face with Fred Astaire and Audrey Hepburn from 1956 -Fashion world meets philosophy... I truly loved it... I found myself being caught up in the images and the dreamy courtship that was a surprise to both of them. I want to try and find a copy for myself to add to my collection of favourites. It made me miss Paris though. Since Paris is the fashion capital, part of the movie took place there. It was fabulous!

It made me jealous of my friends, Danny and Hailey who will be returning to Europe in a few weeks to travel for 4 weeks - Grrrrr...

The scene is Fred Astaire, a well known fashion photographer, the Magazine editor and Audrey Hepburn, the magazine's cover girl have just arrived in Paris are saying to each other they are tired and want to go to their hotels to get some rest as though being in Paris is no big deal to them. However, they are privately excited to see the sites of this great city and start to take in the tourist attractions. Being a musical there is a great little Gershwin song that they sing in part until they bump into each other on the streets of Paris and go up the Eiffel Tower together. I wish I knew the lyrics to this song before I went to Paris - I would have sang them in the streets as I strolled along... But the Eiffel tower... there is just something about it.

I wish I took better pictures of it. There is a romance about that city... And even the elevator up - maybe it was the altitude or my lack of sleep but I found myself falling in love with the city... dreaming of a day in the life of a regular Parisian... That's for me: Bonjour Paris!

"Bonjour, Paris!"

I want to step out Down the Champs-Élysées,
From the Arch of Triumph To the Petit Palais.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

I want to wander Through
the Saint Honorais,
Do some window shopping
In the Rue de la Paye.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

I want to see the den of thinking men like Jean-Paul Sartre.
I must philosophise with all the guys around Montmartre and Montparnasse.

I'm strictly a tourist
But I couldn't care less.
When they parlez-vous me
Then I gotta confess.
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

Light up the Louvre museum
Jazz up the Latin quarter
To show the richest and the poorest:
Here it comes, The great American tourist!

This has got to be illegal
What I feel
Trés gay, trés chic,
Trés mag-nifique
C'est moi, c'est vous
C'est grand, c'est too tu.
It's too good to be true,
All the things we can do.
You do things to my point of view.

We can show you the north or
We can show you the south then
We can show you the west
Come on and show me the best!
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!

Bonjour. Bonjour!
That's for me: Bonjour, Paris!
PEOPLE.Bonjour!

Living is easy,
The livin' is high.
All good Americans
Should come here to die.
Bonjour!

Is it real? Am I here?
Am I here? Is it real?

There's something missing
There's something missing, I know.
There's something missing
There's something missing, I know:
There's still one place I've got to go!

Oh! Oh no!

I thought that you were tired.
You said that you were tired.
I heard you say that you...
You told me you were tired!
You said that you were so exhausted!
You said you needed sleep!
You told that you had to rest.
You said you ought to rest.
I thought you wanted rest.
Is this what you call rest?
I haven't time to rest!

This fussing and fretting
It's getting my goat.
Let's all let our hair down,
We're in the same boat!

We're strictly tourists,
You can titter and jeer.
All we want to say is La faiette we are here
On a spree,
Bonjour, Paris...! Bonjour!

Oh reading it doesn't do it justice... you just have to see it....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsMipvkpMMs

I want to go back and spend more time there...

and everywhere...

PGA (Parents Golfing Assistance)

Both of my parents have decided to take up golf in the past 5 years. They play for fun mostly but they have a little edge to them when they play. They say they want to just enjoy the walk through the fairways and the birds chirping in trees along the greens but I noticed a little edge the last time we were out on a local course. My mom missed a shot and it went into some bushes where she proceeded to stomp through to find her favourite Callaway ball (EVERYTHING she uses is Callaway - I would swear she was sponsored by them!). My dad was about 50 feet ahead and kept playing to the hole and I could see both of their frustrations mounting. So much for fun! Eventually, I went over to help her find her ball and she finished the shot but my dad was already to tee off at the next box. My mom and I came along and all of a sudden things changed from a leisurely game to a race through the course. It felt like "speed golf!" Mostly because my dad could see another group of golfers 2 hole back coming up from behind us. He doesn't like to be rushed so he wanted to hurry up the game - ironic hey?
My mom has a funny way of thinking about golf - so simple - she says "I just want to get the ball in the hole, technique doesn't matter just sink the ball!" I laugh because she has so much fun talking about her game more than playing it. No topic is taboo to her - from the philosophy of the game to the outfit she bought for the certain course dress codes. She is a chatty golfer, and she brings snacks for everyone! It is a hoot - no shortage of stories! At least she has a good time!

On this occasion they had to wait to tee off and they are chatting away - sort of distracting but I wasn't about to make a fuss, it was fine. I also enjoy watching my dad, he appears to have the Mike Weir style figured out and can drive a long ball but he can get a little too enthusiastic in his short game. I overshot my ball on the green so I called my dad over to help me retrieve my ball from a gopher hole - I could see it but I wasn't about to reach my hand in it just in case it was bitten off! I tried jamming my club in it but that just pushed it further - finally my dad grabbed it out and gave me a drop on the edge of the cabbage.... at least 60 feet to the hole - one shot - clunk! I was so proud of my fluke! Don't ask me to do it again!

Another thing about golfing with my parents is that even when I make a bad shot they are so encouraging - "Good shot" or "Nice hit" or the classic "Wow good job!" What else can they say they are my parents! I was so annoyed at one point because I lost my ball in the trees so I hit another and it went to the same area my mom say "good job Erin, Golf is a game of consistency and you are very consistent" I could have thrown a club at her! In golf there is such a thing as too much encouragement! Either way, we had some good laughs.

My mom loves the short game - I think it is the mini-golf from her childhood coming out. She has the skills once its on the green! I am always watching her judge the slope and the weight of the shot to sink her ball - "remember Erin, just get the ball in the hole." It was a fun event - I am sure we will play many more games again.

Birthdays and Belly Dancers

I recently celebrated my birthday - well not really. You see I don't really like my birthday - not because I am getting older but because I am uncomfortable with so much attention on me for something I can't control. It takes no skill or talent to have a birthday - I wish I was celebrated when I accomplish something, like a great meal or a home renovation project - not a birthday. I know it is great to celebrate life but that can be done any day - not just the day of my birth. The Monday after my birthday I gave my 2 weeks notice and quit my job. Within my two week resignation period it was the company president's birthday. The staff team was trying to think of something to get him for the big day. Somehow it was decided he should have a strip-o-gram. Ha ha right? Someone must have said something so it was decided that might not be completely appropriate in the work environment so one of the girls in the office decided to take it upon herself to find a Marilyn Monroe look-a-like to sing in her breathy voice "happy birthday Mr.President" but after a week long attempt on company time - she came up with nothing. They tried to find something comparable and someone suggested a belly dancer... Not sure what they were going for there but somehow they felt a girl in a sequence outfit wiggling her belly screams "happy birthday". So it was booked... They asked everyone in the office to contribute $20 to pay for his entertainment...

But first a little company history....
As an employee we did not get Christmas bonuses, or raises because of the contractual positions we hold. We also do not get staff birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, or even cards from the boss because he does not see value in that extra expense. He also does not celebrate Administrative Professional day in our office and I felt like I had to plead my case to the judge every time I submitted an expense claim for my position. In a nut shell - we gave more to the company than we ever would get back. I felt I was making a difference in the lives of my clients so I stayed but eventually I had to leave.

Ok, back to the birthday party, I couldn't agree to shell out $20 for a questionable belly dancer to gyrate around my boss. I also started adding up the $20/person - this was not a cheap gift. I thought maybe if I avoided the event planners I wouldn't have to pay since it was my last week. Then it happened, I dropped my guard and was cornered in the lunch room by 2 of them

"So Erin, when were you going to give me your $20?"

Upon some counsel of wise friends they told me to stand my ground and not pay - but in that moment I felt so helpless - I caved. But I proceeded to tell them I would only pay half (my weak attempt at being assertive - I am so spineless in those situations) By their reactions I could sense they were going to be discussing my "attitude" later as they huddle in one of their offices with the door closed and speaking in the "low-talk".

So the day of the big party comes and all of a sudden the music comes on and this red flash of glitz comes wiggling by.... As you can see by the expression on my boss' face he was just as surprised as they rest of us.


I would have to say that he never smiles like this on a normal work day - this was EXTRA SPECIAL for him. And for that my $10 was worth putting a smile on his face.

What surprised me about this young girl is how sexual she was making the dance. I know belly dancing is an art and very cultural and I really appreciate it on those terms but this was a little more on the Strip-o-gram side of things.
She had a scarf that she would wrap around his neck and shimmy herself around him. So strange to watch. I felt like I was spying on a very personal moment even though I knew they had never met until that moment.

I had to laugh because my boss tried really hard to keep his eyes focused upward while she danced. Actually, to be honest - I didn't really know where to look either because of the way she was wiggling and jiggling she was trying to draw your eye to all her "parts".

One of the highlights for me was when she tried to get him up to dance with her. First off - are you kidding me? Secondly, my boss has no moves - no rhythm - no rhyme. It was like some great uncle trying to get funky at a wedding reception. BRUTAL! I have to give him props for trying at least. It was truly hilarious!

Once he did it another lady in the office thought she should give it a go. She is highly sexual in all that she does - in her office attire, speech and attitude so she was more than willing to volunteer. She is the ultimate cougar! Seriously, she was "undulating" all around the boardroom!
There were many photos taken of this event that will be memorable and I know that overall it was a good laugh. I can't help but wonder how I would feel if I found out that an over-sexed 45yr old cougar rented my husband a belly dancer for his birthday without discussing it with me or inviting me to join in the party for that day. I wonder how his wife feels. Moreover, I am curious to know why the entire staff team (made up of 90% women) wanted this highly sexual dance brought into the office environment? I am not commenting on that however, it was one of the weirdest ways I have ever spent $10!

Turtles and Speed Bumps

Can you see it? If you can't that's ok - I didn't! For 2 years I have walked these same sidewalks in the off leash area near my house and I have met some very interesting people. Another dog owner I met kept telling me to watch out for turtles. I always laughed awkwardly wondering what they were talking about. I was pretty sure there were no turtles living in my neighbourhood but they said it without the wink wink nudge nudge which made me wonder if they were a little confused. There are no turtles in my area - it was impossible! Ducks, cats, pigeons, seagulls, rabbits and even a rumoured coyote who has wondered up from the river valley have made this park their home but not turtles. Then it dawned on me.

The turtles were the bumps in the sidewalks caused by the roots systems of the trees. It is actually crazy to see how they have erupted through the asphalt sidewalk to create a mini-hill which are referred to as "turtles".

I have always enjoyed a brisk walk through this area and some days we go for a run. It in almost inevitable for me to trip and stumble on the broken surface of the pavement. Typically I get distracted and don't pay attention to my footing and my toe gets caught on the uneven blacktop. I would love to blame someone else for my embarrassment in these moments but I just laugh at my clumsiness. This could be the great analogy of my life as the turtles are the little speed bumps in my world that cause me to slow down and look at my focus and ask where is it? If it isn't on the road before me - I run the risk of falling. If my attention is not on the route I could either go astray and veer off the pathway or I might not be able to maneuver around a "turtle" which could be a tripping hazard and injure myself which would alter my ability to continue the journey. Ok perhaps that is a bit over the top - but when I am out for a walk by myself - many things run through my head!

My mother tells me I have always been the type of person who likes to stop and smell the roses but in my day to day life I find certain events in life can cause us to be jaded and forget to appreciate the events going on around us with wonder. Summer is full of great moments, from beautiful sunsets and flowers in bloom to the flash of lightening and the fresh smell of summer rain; or a child's giggle in the wading pool and the aroma of the backyard BBQ to washing my car and making it shine and then driving it with great music and the sunroof open to the lake! This is the stuff life life is made of.

For someone who didn't know what a "turtle" was I have developed a great appreciation for these small neighbourhood creatures. They teach me to slow down and pay attention. To see the great things that surround me and enjoy those in my life that make me a better person. I am really so blessed and I guess it sometimes takes falling hard on our a$$ to learn that.

I have a great respect for God's timing in my life. I don't think of myself as impatient but some days I don't understand the word "wait". I have learned so much in the past 3 years with leaving a job I enjoyed to many jobs I did not enjoy to a new job that shows promise and in it all I saw great things. I am thankful for God's Sovereignty in my life and his knowledge of what I need but I just wish he would let me in on the long term plans! There are things going on in my head and in my heart that are new and I need some insight on why these issues have surfaced. What does God have in store for me - how does he want to use me in the coming year. How can I make use of my gifts to follow through on these hopes and dreams. How does it all fit together. Here I am again - asking and not listening. I need to walk slower, pay attention and maybe I will start to see how it all fits together. Just one step at a time - Right?